"艰难的决定"恶搞版口语表达

360和腾讯的网络大战爆发后，网友调侃腾讯致用户信——“我们刚刚做出了一个艰难的决定……”编写了许多小段子发泄愤怒。

Here is Tencent's original open letter:

When you see this letter, we have just made a difficult decision. Before Qihoo360 stops infringing upon and slandering QQ, we have decided to stop running QQ on computers installed with 360's software.

腾讯公开信原文：

当您看到这封信的时候，我们刚刚作出了一个非常艰难的决定。在360公司停止对QQ进行外挂侵犯和恶意诋毁之前，我们决定将在装有360软件的电脑上停止运行QQ软件。

Here are some jokes from netizens:

Microsoft:

When you see this letter, we have just made a difficult decision. Because two Chinese programs have severely affected our Windows services, until you stop using 360 and QQ, we have decided to suspend the operation of Windows in China.

微软：

当您看到这封信的时候，我们刚刚作出了一个非常非常非常非常艰难的决定，由于中国两家互联网公司的两款软件严重的干扰了我们的windows服务。在您停止使用360和QQ之前，我们决定暂停所有大中华区的windows服务。

NOKIA

We have just made a difficult decision. If our mobile phones detect an iPhone within 10 meters, they will automatically explode.

诺基亚

我们刚刚作出了一个非常非常非常非常艰难的决定。如果监测到十米以内有iPhone手机，我们的手机将自动引爆。

Master Kong

We have just made a difficult decision. If we found you have eaten another type of instant noodle, our products will be sold to you without flavouring.

康师傅

我们刚刚作出了一个非常非常非常非常艰难的决定。如果我们监测检测到您之前食用过其它品牌的方便面，您购买的方便面内将不配调料。

Baidu

We have just made a difficult decision. If we detect that you have visited Google, your Baidu ID will be automatically blocked.

百度

我们刚刚作出了一个非常非常非常非常艰难的决定。如果我们检测到您之前访问过谷歌，您的百度账号将被自动屏蔽。