职场上拜访应礼尚往来

中华民族是一个崇尚"礼尚往来"的民族。拜访长者，我们可以带去一些营养品；给新婚夫妇包红包，一句关系亲疏里面有几十元至几千元现金......有时送礼花太多钱是犯忌的，也有时候"一点儿小意思"又不够，但不论接收礼物的人是谁，在什么场合下送礼，多花些时间仔细挑选礼物都是不枉费的。

一个适当的礼物，如果送的方法不对，也可能让你惹上麻烦。了解不同文化的送礼礼节是很重要的。在下面的对话里，一个初来中国的外国朋友在送礼上就碰到了点"小麻烦。

A: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated me. But there is something I can never figure out!

B: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.

A: Good! You turn up so timely! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? "No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite!" can you believe it?

B: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy. And they don't want their friends "pofei" which means to spend money.

A: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?

B: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being "polite". He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend you.

A: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

B: You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward in some situation. In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him. Actually what counts is your good intention.

A: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?

B: I think so.

A: Thank you.