SAT考试写作满分范文鉴赏(5)

　　SAT作文满分范文鉴赏与点评(5) Essay题目选自The Official SAT study Guide Avail Practice Test 5

　　Prompt

　　Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.

　　We shall be both kinder and fairer in our treatment of others if we understand them better. Understanding ourselves and understanding others are connected, since as human beings we all have things in common.

　　Assignment

　　Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your readings, studies, experience, and observations.

　　Sample Essay - Score of 6 SAT写作6分范文

　　Most parents and teachers tell students the extremely tired cliché of the consequences of following the crowd. It is said that, in order to be a competely individual thinker, one must ignore what others say. Such advice is certainly true to some extent; unreasonable malice must be forgotten in order to keep some level of self-esteem. However, as with most ideas, this one can not be taken in absolute form. In at least some respects, we need other people in order to understand ourselves.

　　An excellent example of a literary character who could have psychologically benefitted from social interaction is J. Alfred Prufrock from T.S. Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” In the poem, Prufrck desires a relationship with a woman very much, but he refrains from initiating conversation because he fears that he could not hold the interest of a sophisticated lady. Should Prufrock have taken the step to accept other people into his life, he most likely would have discovered, as the reader of the poem certainly did, that he is most articulate. Others would have impressed upon him the beauty of his words and his talent for prose. If Prufrock would have spoken his song a loud, the ladies surely would have shown him what he himself did not understand. Since the ladies would reveal Prufrock’s talents to him, it is true that we need others in order to understand ourselves.

　　The lesson of learning from other’s opinions of yourself extends much farther than the song of a fictional character. Two days ago, in an art class, my group of students had assigned self portraits due. Most of us brought in photographs of ourselves. Nevertheless, one boy brought nothing and handed us all slips of paper. He told us to write a word to describe him, and when we had done so, he pasted the words on a poster. This must have been a revealing exercise for him because, upon the sight of such descriptions as “bitter” and “sarcastic”, he was shocked. In the case of this boy, he had not realized how his personality appeared to others. Though he might not have thought himself “bitter”, his friend’s comments certainly made him seem that way. The fact that we need others in order to understand ourselves is clearly shown by this boy’s revelation.

　　Score Explanation SAT写作6分范文点评

　　This outstanding essay effectively and insightfully develops the point of view that “In at least some respects, we need other people in order to understand ourselves.” The writer demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by focusing on the differing examples of J. Alfred Prufrock and a peer from the writer’s own class to support this position. The essay first describes how, by not allowing himself to interact with women, Prufrock denies himself the approval necessary to “reveal Prufrock’s talents to him.” Next, the writer contrasts this with the shock a classmate feels after reading how his classmates describe him. Both of these clearly appropriate examples reinforce the writer’s position. This essay is well organized, focusing first on the character from Eliot’s poem and then smoothly shifting focus to the personal example of the writer’s peer. The strength of organization and focus allow this essay to demonstrate a depth of development, clear coherence, and smooth progression of ideas. The essay exhibits skillful use of language and demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure (“An excellent example of a literary character who could have psychologically benefitted from social interaction is J. Alfred Prufrock from T.S. Eliot’s poem ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.’ In the poem, Prufrock desires a relationship with a woman very much, but he refrains from initiating conversation because he fears that he could not hold the interest of a sophisticated lady”). Demonstrating clear and consistent mastery, this essay receives the highest score of 6.