冲击波英语专四系列：作文之范文赏析--如何提高学生心理健康

题目：How to Improve Students Mental Health

写作要求

Nowadays some college students suffer from mental diseases and even commit suicide. How to improve students’ mental health has now become a hot topic. What’s your suggestion?

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

How to Improve Students’ Mental Health

You are to write in three parts.

In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.

In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道典型的问题解决/建议型的题目，从题目到写作要求都明确说明文章要围绕如何提高学生的精神健康来写，通常可以从 以下几方面着手：

1. 从社会层面来看，教育体制上应该给学生更为宽松的环境，使学生能全面发展；

2. 从学校层面来看，学校应关注学生的身心健康，设立心理工作室等，进行心理问题的预防和辅导；

3. 从家长层面来看，家长应时常关心孩子的心理想法，而不是只注重学习成绩；

4. 从学生层面来看，学生自己应该适当了解一些心理常识，开发多种兴趣，能自我纾解负面情绪 。

以上这些方面并不意味着在一篇文章中都要涉及 ，只要从其中一两个方面提出建议并详细陈述理由即可。

范文赏析

How to Improve Students’ Mental Health

Students’ mental health, an issue neglected for long, has now gained increasing public concern . As to how to improve it, heated discussions are right on their way. As far as I’m concerned, the university should set up a mental health workshop to improve students’ psychological health. It’s necessary for the following reasons.

引言部分：作者先复述题干中的背景，然后直抒胸臆：大学应成立心理工作室， 并以for the following reasons引出下文。

For one thing, many problems of mental disorder may be nipped in the bud . Many students may find it hard to deal with pressure from study and personal relationships, and therefore pains, puzzles and frustration may arise . he workshop will be a place for the young people to release their pressure by talking it away8 with teachers there. In the meantime , teachers may have a chance to detect signs of psychological problems in advance and take precautious measures  accordingly. For another, students may know some ways to improve their mental health. If the experts of the workshop can give lectures on regular basis, those students suffering from mental disturbances will know what to do and face their problems bravely.

主体部分 ：作者以for one thing和for another 引出两个原因，而且用短句点题 ，用长句解释，长短结合，非常恰当。另外近义词的使用也给文章增加了变化性 ， 如mental ，illness ，disease，disturbance 等 。如果有三个或以上的原因，可以参考使用以下几组词 ：To begin with，then，furthermore finally；To start with，next，in addition，finally；First and foremost，besides，last but not least；Most important of all，moreover finally。

From the factors mentioned above, we may safely draw the conclusion that a mental health workshop can play a vital role in students’ daily life and help to protect them from mental illness.

总结部分 ：作者用 from the factors mentioned above自然结尾，并再次重申自己的观点，与开头部分呼应。

亮点回放

1. neglect: “忽视”；近义词有ignore（有意忽视 ）和overlook ，此处an issue neglected for long用作插入语，起同位语的作用 。

2. public concern : “公众的关注” ；在表示 “引起普遍关注/重视”时 ，常用arouse/gain public/ popular concern这一词组 。

3. on their way: “在路上”；此处表示“激烈的讨论正在展开”的意思 。

4. disorder: “混乱，失调，不适，疾病”；此处与下文的disturbance，problem为近义词 。

5. be nipped in the bud:“被……消灭于萌芽状态”。

6. puzzle:“困惑，难题”；近义词有confusion ，bewilderment，worry等 。

7. arise: “出现，产生”；常用于指抽象事物的产生，常用搭配为arise from 。

8. talk it away:通常talk away作不及物动词用 ，表示“不停地讲”，这里是指“通过谈话将压力消除”。

9. in the meantime: “与此 同时” ；近义词有at the same time ，in the meanwhile等 。

10. detect: “发觉，察觉”；比简单使用find要 出彩 。

11. accordingly: “相应地” ；也可以使用correspondingly来替换 。

12. on regular basis: “常规地 ，经常地” ；比简单使用often/usually好 。

13. disturbance: “扰乱，骚动” ；此处指精神上的困惑，与上文的disorder为近义词 。

14. safely : “安全地” ；此处表示 “毫无 问题地” ，we  can  safely  draw  the conclusion that...是常用的结尾句式 。