冲击波英语专四系列：作文之范文赏析--宿舍安全

题目：On Dormitory Security

写作要求

Dormitories on campus were reported to be broken into and burglaries happened regularly.

What should both students and universities do to reduce this kind of crime?

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

On Dormitory Security

You are to write in three parts.

In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your opinion is.

In the second part, provide one or two reasons to support your idea OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriatenes. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道问题解决/建议型的题目，一般建议型题目的写法是复述题干内容 ，直截了当提出自己的建议, 然后摆事实讲道理说明该建议有什么好处 ，最后把文章引入一个自然的总结段中即可。但是根据这个题目的题干，重点不是用理由来支持某个建议，而是详述该建议是什么，即分小点说明学校和学生应该分别做些什么。

范文赏析

On Dormitory Security

It is reported that recently in quite a few universities, dormitories on campus have been broken into and burglaries have happened every now and then. In fact, students have complained a lot that burglaries are like nightmares in their college years. I think it’s high time that both students and universities did something to reduce and eliminate this kind of crime.

引言部分：作者先说明有报道说最近寝室遭窃的现象很多，困扰着学生们，然后提出学生和学校都应采取措施。

On the one hand, there are some measures which universities can take. First, universities should have all the dormitory doors and windows checked, find out and repair the broken ones so that thieves cannot go in easily. Second, the number of university security staff should be increased.  Security personnel should patrol on campus and cross-question  any suspicious person.

On the other hand, students should also do something to protect their belongings. First, when they leave their dormitories, they should keep doors and windows locked to keep out  sneak10 thieves.Second, students should lock their valuables11 up in lockers12. In this way, they can reduce the risks of burglaries happening.

主体部分：作者分两方面来说，并在每方面下面又分了几个小点，这样一则可以丰富内容，二则使整篇文章逻辑清晰，衔接紧凑，成为一个完整的整体。

In one word, both students and universities should do something to reduce burglaries in dormitories. And only in a safe dormitory can a student live and study happily.

总结部分：作者用in one word自然而然地对上文进行了总结，并进一步说明只有寝室安全才能让学生生活和学习得更开心。

亮点回放

1.  be broken into: “被闯入”，常用于指房子有窃贼闯入。

2.  every now  and then: “时而，不时” ；近义词有every now  and again ，every  so often, more often than not等 。

3.  nightmare: “噩梦，使人特别痛苦的事情或经历”。

4.  it s high time that: “该做某事的时候到了” ；如果在time前面有high ，the very等词 ，那么从句中要使用过去时。

5.eliminate: “除去，消除” ；这里还可以使用get rid of，root out ，wipe out ，weed out等来表示 同一意思。

6.  personnel: “职员” ；作名词 ，注意personnel和personal（个人的）的区别。

7.  patrol: “巡逻 ，巡查”。

8.  cross-question: “盘问，审问” ；该词 的使用体现了作者词汇量的丰富和用词的精到。

9.  suspicious: “可疑的，多疑的” ；也可以使用doubtable和questionable来代替 。

10. sneak : 常用作动词，表示 “偷偷摸摸做/走”，此处用作形容词，表示“出其不意的，暗中进行的”。

11. valuables: valuable常用作形容词 ，表示  “贵重的” ；当用作名词且为复数时 ，表示 “贵重物品”。

12. locker: “更衣箱，储物柜” ；该词用得非常到位 。