名师托福作文评改：建造社区购物中心

To Build a Community Shopping Center – YES
 
I.     Essay
 
Topic: It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
 
For those people, who are living far away from the downtown area, it is very essential to build a shopping center, which closes home. (For those people, who are living far away from the downtown area, it is essential to build a shopping center close to home.) As far as I am concerned, there is a long distance between their homes and the shopping center, so a inside community shopping center appear important. (As far as I know, current shopping centers are far from their homes, so a community shopping center would be important.) (1) (“As far as I know”) (A)
 
The reasons are quite clear. Firstly, it is reasonable for people to expect saving time from unnecessary things. For instance, the time I spend on the way to shopping, is more than an hour. (For instance, it takes me over an hour to get to the shopping center.) (2)Sometimes it is even worse, when confront the public holidays. (Sometimes it is even worse, especially during public holidays.) Shopping originally was an enjoyable thing for most people. However in this kind of situation, on the contract, shopping became a trouble. (However, in this case, on the contrary, shopping is a lot of trouble.) (“in this case”) (B) (“on the contrary”) (C) Just imagine what it would be like if it took such a long time to go shopping. People will easy agree to vote to build a close shopping center. (People would readily agree to build a community shopping center.)
 
Secondly, shopping near home not only saves time, but also saves money and energy. That is all, it could supply person with more convenience. (It would provide people with much more convenience.) Most of the citizens in my city can't afford a car. So public transportation is the major means by which to go shopping. Every time after shopping, people will face two options: bus or taxi. (People always face two options after they go shopping: bus or taxi.) If decide to take the bus, it will cost a lot of energy to take all their stuffs to rush into the packed bus, and when they can't find a seat they have to stand for a long time. (If they decide to take a bus, then they will have to take all their bags and rush into a packed bus, and if they can’t find a seat, they’ll have to stand for the whole ride.) However on the other hand, if decide to order a taxi, it will cost money.  (On the other hand, if they decide to take a taxi, then it will be expensive.) Therefore, the best solution will be shopping at a place close to home.
 
Admittedly, to build a shopping center close home will take some noise at the beginning construction, but as the community numbers, we have to look forward for the further convenience. (Admittedly, the construction of a shopping center will make considerable noise, particularly at the beginning, but as a community, each citizen will have future convenience to look forward to.) (3) After careful consideration, it is not hard to draw the conclusion to welcome building a shopping center close to home.