托福写作中怎么样"简洁"表达

　　很多学生在练习英文作文时，认为长句、难句或复杂句能够提升文章的语言质量，展示自己“深厚”的语言功底，并因此获得更高的分数。他们在备考复习时也花了很多精力在长句的练习上，考试时也会尽量使用长句。这种想法确实有一定的道理，因为很多考试如新托福的写作科目评分标准中确实有从语法或用词的多样性等角度考察语言质量的评分项目，考生如果能够熟练地运用各种句式写出精彩的长句，确实能给文章增色不少。
　　然而一味地追求句子的长度有时反而会牺牲句子的“可读性”，特别是对一些基础一般的学生来说，有时生硬地追求长句反而破坏了句子的句法准确性。下面，朗阁海外考试研究中心将为考生们列举一些写得并不成功的长句，并给出如何修改的建议：来源：
　　My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.
　　更简洁的句式为：
　　My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily.
　　3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：
　　Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.
　　简介的表达方式为：
　　The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university.
　　4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：
　　In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather’s family.
　　本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather’s family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：
　　In the fall, my grandfather’s family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay.
　　5. 用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：
　　My grandfather didn’t have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends.
　　Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：
　　My grandfather didn’t have time to loiter with his school friends.
　　6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：
　　Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree.
　　两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子：
　　Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree.