托福写作致命伤 千万不要犯

　　1.用词不当

　　学生们写的作文里或多或少都会有一些用词不当的问题，但是要注意的是一些最最基本的错误是不能犯的。

　　In the show, if participators answer twenty problems that the host mentioned correctly, they will get five hundreds thousand U.S. dollars as a prize.

　　——problems应改为questions

　　2.拼写错误

　　这里的拼写错误不是指在考试时候的误打，而是本身对词汇拼写记忆的错误。

　　In conclusion, issue of whether parents are the best teachers is a complex one, requiring subjective judgement, consequently, there are no easy or certain answers.

　　——judgement应改为judgment

　　3.乱用大词

　　First of all, children can earn money from their jobs, although there isn’t too much, but they will keep their salary gingerliness.

　　这里的gingerliness根本是不知所云。该句子还有以下问题：

　　1)该作文题目是讲学生是否应该做兼职，因此children的出现就显得很莫名其妙;

　　2)although和but是不能连用的;

　　3)指代不明，they不知道是指代前面的什么;

　　4.表达中式

　　The second argument-it might have been noticed by others-is that in some occasion, it is quite difficult to compare parents to teachers because parents are a kind of people, teachers are a kind of vocation.

　　句子中划线部分的表达过于中式化。

　　5.表意重复

　　They shocked their friends, devastated their families, crushed their best friends.

　　前面已经提到了朋友，后面又提到朋友。

　　The show is so compelling but attractive.

　　compelling和attractive是同义词，所以这里这么写就让人不明白。

　　6.固定用法错误

　　To some extends, I agree with the author’s general assertion that if parents also have a comprehensive sense of professional knowledge.

　　——To some extends应改为To some extent

　　7.例证夸张

　　For example, when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer, the doctor cannot tell the truth, for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death.

　　虽然善意的谎言是必要的，但是其功效显然没有这么大。

　　8.成分多余

　　According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows that there is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs.

　　该句中的shows that是多余的成分。

　　9.词性混乱

　　However, the questions such as "Have you ever regretted marrying your husband" may be very privacy and embarrassingly.

　　句子中的privacy和embarrassingly应该改成private和embarrassing。

　　10.文体不正式

　　All of the players gonna to tell the truth in attempt to win $500,000.

　　——gonna过于口语化。

　　In addition, I think people shoudn’t always tell the truth to others.

　　——在托福作文中尽量不要用缩写，这里应该写should not。

　　11.两个独立句子间无连词

　　Another point is that young people are more aggressive and energetic, and it’s suitable for them to choose such jobs, which will provide them with rich experience that is essential for their future success.

　　这个错误犯的频率相当高，一定要注意。

　　12.时态错误

　　托福大作文一般使用现在时态，除了拿过去事件作为例子用过去时态。

　　Some people claimed that news media has enormous influence and is a detrimental creation.

　　—— claimed应该改为claim

　　13.不知所云

　　They also mention that in modern society there are too much entertainment bothering them as the huge gap lying between them and the success.

　　这句话完全不知道是什么意思，逻辑混乱，这是中国学生经常犯的错误。