托福写作范文点评和思路解析:为同龄人改变家乡
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写作难点话题一览
How to make your hometown more appealing to people your age?
What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
写作思路展开结构分析
这道题目里有一个点需要大家注意,那就是appealing to people your age,审题不仔细的同学可能会把题目理解成简单的让hometown更好而没有抓住满足自己年龄层次需求这一点来说。所以建议大家论述的时候先说明自己的年龄,然后结合自己的年龄层特点来给出适合的改进建议。
本话题高分范文赏析
My hometown is a pretty good place to live. However, I still can think of at least three changes that would drastically increase the towns appeal to people my age, around 20. The construction of public sports facilities would give us the opportunity to exercise and spend our time constructively, the further development of the public parks would provide us with places to spend our leisure time in nice and cost free environments, and the lowering of the cost of public transportation would give us the opportunity to roam the city more freely. Exercising is the most popular recreational activity amongst people my age, but unfortunately there is very little opportunity to pursue sports in my hometown. All of the gyms, basketball courts, and football fields are on school grounds, and most of the time they are occupied by other students or sports teams. When they are not occupied, the facilities are locked up or it is too dark to play sports. The construction of public sports facilities that are open to anybody would solve this problem. My friends and I enjoy spending time together, but we cannot find a suitable place to hang out. Most of the time, we meet at the shopping mall around the corner, or play outside the convenience store across from school. We usually just spent what money we have and do nothing else but look at the stores or sit on the street. We want to go to a park or a nice green area, but most of them are not very well kept. Those that are nice are too far away. Lowering the cost of bus and train tickets would not only allow us to go to those parks, but it would open up a whole new realm of possibilities. We would be able to go to other parts of the city and see our relatives more often. Right now, the only time we get to see our cousins is on holidays. Furthermore, we could actually afford to see a movie in the theater. At present the cost of transportation is almost as much as the ticket itself.