托福写作范文:有钱之后是买房还是做生意
托福写作题目
You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which wouldyou choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.如果你有足够的钱,是买房还是做生意?
托福写作范文
If I had enough money to purchase either a house or a business, I wouldchoose a business. A house is attractive to me, for it may bring me shelter andcomforts. However, I like a business better, because a business offers me muchmore.
A business is a challenge for me. I like to embrace new challenges which, Ibelieve, are good opportunities to develop and exhibit my abilities. I admireBill Gates, not only for his talent, but also for his courage. I am confident ofmy capability; still, I need real opportunity to test it. No matter if it issuccess or failure that I will have to face, it is a new experience for me.After all, real satisfaction is in the traveling, not arriving. I have learned alot from books, but I don’t have enough experience. Therefore, learning by doingis my ideal,and running a business can help me fulfill it. I can hone myabilities during this process, and become more and more mature at the sametime.
A house may satisfy my immediate needs, while a business may bring melong-term satisfaction. If I have a house, I will have a place to live, feelingwarm and sheltered. There is almost no further benefits. By contrast, a businesshas more potential for losses or gains. If I am really as capable as I haveexpected, it will probably be gains. Even the potential itself is excitingenough for me. According to Maslow’s needs hierarchy, housing is a basic need,while running a business of my own and for myself, belongs to the needs ofself-actualization, the highest one. Many people can satisfy their basic needs,but only a small number can reach the highest level.
If I have to choose between either a house or a business, I will choose thelatter, because if I succeed in running it, I will be able to buy a house aswell as many other things. However, if I choose a house, I will own only ahouse, nothing more.
托福写作满分要素剖析
一、 语言表达
这篇文章并不像其它众多范文一样大量充斥着长难句以及高深的用词,大家仔细阅读可以发现,文章擅长用短小精炼的单句或者简单的复合句进行犀利的论证,表达观点时用词精炼,言简意赅。长短句的结合也恰到好处,句子收放自如。
1、“I like to embrace new challenges”中的”embrace”用的十分生动。通常人们都是会用acceptchallenges, 而作者在这里用这个词表示愿意“拥抱”挑战,可见其形象而又地道的用词。
“hone one’s ability”也是一种较高级的表达方法。也是同学们可以借鉴的表达。
2、本文并没有太多的从句,有两、有一处定语从句值得一提。“I like to embrace new challenges which, Ibelieve, are good opportunities to develop and exhibit my abilities.” Which引导的定语从句进一步修饰了challenges 对作者的意义。而I believe 这一插入语的巧妙运用,在增强语言表达效果上起着重要的作用。
3、文章虽然没有高深莫测的长难句,每一句话几乎都浅显易懂,但也不乏充满哲理的句子。例如:“After all, real satisfactionis in the traveling, not arriving.”其实当下很多文章都喜欢把一些人生哲理与人的旅途结合起来,道理虽然简单,但却发人深省。作者也是巧妙的掌握了这一点,把对满足感的追求与人生旅程结合在一起。
二、 逻辑结构
文章结构是典型的总分总结构,文章最大的亮点就是说服力强的论据和逻辑性强,结构严谨的论证过程。这些都是值得同学们好好借鉴学习的。作者在第一段就给出明确的论点,强调需要的是一份事业而非房子,因为事业可以给他带来更多。在随后的两段里,作者对这个“多”展开了一系列严谨而充分的论述。通过追求事业,人们可以累积经验财富,并且把学到的东西用于实践,最终达到自我实现的目标。其中最值得一提的是作者引用了两个强有力的实例——比尔盖茨和马斯
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