Part II--The Journey to a State Called Authentic

Are you on the road yet? If not, pony up your?.um, pony and pretend that you are gracefully cantering down the road toward that state called Authentic. Imagine that you're riding smoothly just like in the movies. But all of a sudden, your pony hits a rock and you go flying. This will happen. Perhaps not while riding a pony, but in some way as you are living your Authentic Self. Roadblocks surface usually when you're in a wonderful flow, suddenly turning harmonious song into banshee wail. Here are a few tricky roadblocks to watch out for:

Invisible Rules-These are declarations which appear to be universally subscribed to as long-accepted truisms. They seem unquestionably abided by but they actually aren't. We are often not aware of the Invisible Rules that we follow: "My hair & make-up have to be 'done' before I leave the house" or "Women over a certain age should not work short skirts." Invisible Rules create an obstacle because they stop us in our Authentic Self tracks by requiring that we change who we are in order to be like 'everybody else', to conform. They trip us up by their false appearance. 'Everybody else' does their hair before they head out the front door. Or do they?

Bright Shiny Objects- They glitter, vibrate, bounce or blink. In short, they distract. While BSO's might not lead you away from your Authentic Self forever, they do prevent you from fully living your Authentic Self. BSOs act like sugar; they don't add anything to our Authentic Self diet, just a momentary false high. BSOs are different for everyone. To determine yours, ask yourself what your not-so-obvious weaknesses are. These can be an area that has been a strength but presently may be over-accessed or used as a crutch. BSO's sometimes show up in these areas. One huge BSO for me is the Internet. I sometimes gorge myself by replying to non-essential emails right away or perusing various sites under the guise of 'research' when I really need to be working on program design for a new client. The distracting dazzle doesn't last long once you feel the absence of Authentic fulfillment.

Indigenous Excuses- These suckers are so deeply ingrained in your persona that you probably don't even notice their presence. Indigenous Excuses are dangerous because they become like a truth in our mind so since we aren't tuned into hearing the difference, we live our life by a false truth. Some examples are: "I can't afford to advertise" or "It's not the right time to _____ (fill in the blank here: look for a new job, buy a house, start dating again)". Be aware that what you're really saying here is "I won't" as in "I won't advertise my company" or "I won't admit that I am looking for a perfect {read: non-existent} time to start _____." Indigenous Excuses don't allow our Authentic Self to move forward because they keep us stuck in the realm of the changeless past that wasn't working in the first place.

Temptation of Perfection- Perfection can creep into an Authentic Self project or it can worm its way into a conversation. Perfect is the anti-Authentic. When we attempt to introduce perfectionism into something, the Authentic Self ceases to exist. One way that perfection enters conversations is by the need to have the last word or to make someone else's point of view wrong. Instead of allowing perfection in, develop your outside eye-the watcher who observes your actions and thoughts with detachment. Allow that eye to peer into your interactions and act as a guard against the tendency toward perfection. Once perfectionism is spotted, it is easier to stop, drop and roll?and get back to living your Authentic Self.

Once you've identified what roadblocks you are the most susceptible to, it is easier to deal with them. Acknowledge them for what they are. Ultimately these roadblocks are non-essential Authentic Self traps that we fall into, either deliberately as an avoidance method or unintentionally as a bad habit that we hadn't known we had. What distracts you from your Authentic Self? Which roadblock causes particular chaos in your life? Let me know. Now, where did that pony go?

Elizabeth Johnson is a life coach who specializes in women's empowerment through authentic living. Elizabeth helps women recognize that everything in their life is a choice and by putting themselves first, clarifying their passions and values and by building self-confidence, they can have the life that they want. Her