Im Not Fat, Im Fluffy

A distorted body image is one of the symptoms that define anorexia and related eating disorders. Patients may be painfully thin but still see themselves as fat while they continue to cut calories, over-exercise, purge, or use enemas in an effort to lose more and more weight.

Those of us who enjoy normal weight often also suffer from a warped view of our physical selves. Like the old carnival house of mirrors, we fail to see the true reflection of our bodies because of an inner eye that focuses on the elements we hate: sagging arms, nobby knees, saddlebag thighs, a roll of belly fat. That personal distaste for certain body parts is what drives slender, attractive, healthy individuals, despite the adverse reactions of family and friends who see no need for change, into cosmetic surgery.

Those of us who are overweight also display selective vision. We tend to avoid full-length mirrors, preferring to focus on just our upper body and face. When we do catch a full glimpse, we suck in our stomachs and look at ourselves sideways, trying to convince ourselves that we don't look as overweight as the scales so nastily suggest. We believe that our clothes shrank in the wash or that the size tags are in error. In our mind's eye we see ourselves as we yearn to be and linger long on the fantasy of how great we will look when we can get into our favorite outfit.

So no matter our weight, our body image frequently fails to reflect what is in the mirror but represents what is held in our mind's eye. The closer we can approach to the differing views being compatible, the more comfortable we will be in ourselves and the more valuable any changes we seek to make.

You may have gained, and lost, an appreciable amount of weight several times on your life, as many of us have. There were undoubtedly times, on your way up and down the weight ladder, when your appearance and your self-image diverged. This can be a critically dangerous time. If you are on a diet and losing, but still see yourself as fat, you become anxious: "This diet isn't working," and the chances of your just giving up become significant. If you are gaining and still see yourself as thin, you ignore the need to take immediate action until one day you can't button any of your clothes. You look at the scale in confused surprise: how did this happen without my noticing it ten or fifteen pounds ago?

To permanently control our weight requires a constant awareness of our body in all of its full reality. It doesn't matter if we want to be model-thin, enjoy a middle ground, or even have no emotional distress at remaining pleasantly plump, we need to be aware of our external presentation in order to accurately internalize all aspects of our appearance.

An accurate self-appraisal of your image-in-the-world makes so many decisions easier: should I eat dessert? Should I drive over to the gym? Should I take a walk or start that new thriller I've been dying to read? Because you're aware of what needs to be done, and what is allowed, you shake the burden of guilt off your shoulders and can truly enjoy the activities you choose to pursue. Your mental and physical efforts are synchronized which avoids self-destructive vacillation -- "Should I or shouldn't I?" - and the later self-disgust when you feel you made the wrong choice.

How do we train ourselves to coordinate our self-perception with our self-presentation? It is undoubtedly a difficult task to accomplish. How many times have you been astonished to learn that others see your words and actions in a totally different light than you meant to convey? We judge others, and they judge us, by external criteria. I am only completely and intimately knowledgeable about one person in the world, me, because I am privy only to the internal criteria of myself.

We are now going to try to turn ourselves inside out in order to look at ourselves with both an internal and external view.

Here are some personal characteristics and attributes. Since we are focused on weight and body image, the primary listing relates to that. Since you're going to a lot of effort to get this information, and to create confusion in your respondents about what is your primary area of concern, I suggest you add the additional areas.

Physical:

Height

Weight

Shape

General Appearance

Hips

Chest

Arms

Legs

Posture

Ways You Move