Handicapped From Suicide

I am 23 years old. I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (6 and 7), and 3 sisters (2months, 17, and 21). We are a very close famly, but I am especially close with my 17 year old sister. Like twins, with a very special bond. For the most part we all led very normal lives. I moved away got married and had two children, but we still saw each other every day.

One morning I was awaken by my Cell Phone ringing very early in the morning. My parents were calling me to ask me to come to their house. When I got to the house you could immediately tell something was very wrong. All they could say was it's Robin, my 17 year old sister. I assumed maybe she had been in an accident or done something wrong. Finally I learned that she had committed suicide. She had shot herself in the middle of the night while I slept peacefully. Let me tell you it took a long, long time before I even believed it. That was December 13th, 2004. I died that day.

People try to tell you that time will heal your wounds but it has been 6 months and it gets harder every day. How are you suppose to live a normal life when your heart has been ripped out? Her suicide has handicapped me in more ways then I could explain to you. I wrote a letter to her and in it I tell her "there is no way that bullet hurt you half as bad as it hurt me." My sister had no conceivable reason to kill herself. She had everything in the world a loving family and a boyfriend who loved her so deeply. It just goes to show there is no set stereotype. It can happen to anyone.

I now am very actively speaking to teens about the effects of suicide and the pressures of life. Unless you have been in my shoes you can not imagine the pain I endure every day. I hope that anyone reading this gets even a small sense of what it can do to someone. I strongly suggest that parents, friends, family, everyone realize how precious life is. Don't ever take for granted the fact that it won't happen to you. Stay close to the ones you love you never know when you won't see them again.

All I have left are memories and some old clothes but you have a chance to truly make a difference.

Lindsay Blades
http://www.electronicsobsession.com
lindsayblades@hotmail.com