OBSCURED (Angel)

Being raised in a household without a mother or a father can be traumatic for a young girl. If no one cares enough about you to come into your life to "finish" or offer guidance where your parent(s) left off, you are a lost soul.

As I mentioned in my story Zenobia's Life Lessons, my mother passed away when I was a young girl of twelve and unfortunately, I never knew my dad. My mother knew that her illness was terminal therefore, given the time that she had left, she would explain everything there was for my sister and I to know about life with thorough exactitude and detail. As a result, I grew up accustomed to having a situation or a "let-me-tell-you-what-just-happened-to-me" story clarified in the same manner. I wanted stories or incidences re-told to me from beginning to end. One could leave nothing to the imagination. If you did leave something out you could bet your bottom dollar, I'd query you about it in the middle of your storytelling and you'd have no choice but to go back and repeat the story EXACTLY as it unfolded.

Shortly after my mom passed my sister began her first dating relationship with a guy who lived across the street. She was in love and had little to no time to spend with an annoying gawky younger sister. So I felt not only had I lost my mom, I also lost my sister. During this time, I became very observant and gathered my own opinions and summations about life and situations as best I could.

My sister and I lived with our aunt. She worked during the nights and when she was not working, she was sleeping during the day while I was at school. Our schedules didn't allow lots of time for her to parent. Not having my mother or sister around to answer questions or explain "life" circumstances to me was a hard pill for me to swallow, but eventually I was able to force it down.

I was about 16-years old and I always felt as though an "Angel" was watching over me. I remember once, while my mother prepared my sister and I for her death she told us "if I could come back I would never hurt either of you". Hence, I always felt as though she was somewhere keeping an eye, sort of guiding me during my times of confusion and uncertainty as I matured.

Unbeknownst to me there was an "Angel" watching me and giving me tutelage and empowering me to always look at my situations as an optimist as oppose to the pessimist. My "Angel" taught me the importance of having a good education and the significance of learning a skill. He taught me the weight of exhausting all of MY resources FIRST, before I rummaged around for help from those who cared not. MY Angel never let me drift too far away from him to the point of becoming defiant to the knowledge that he was trying to enlighten upon me.

When I'd come in the house after "hanging out" for the better part of an evening, as teenagers often do, he would always somehow draw me into a conversation of substance. I could not just waltz into the house, say my hellos, and mosey into my room.

"How was your day?" he'd ask me while I was in mid-step, or "tell me what you've been doing all evening", or (this one was my favorite), "who were you hanging out with all day?"

I realized when I became a parent that these questions were pertinent in order to establish an interpersonal relationship with your child. The more we know in terms of what our children are doing when they are away from Home, the less likely our children are to get involved in troublesome situations. It was true then and I am sure it is truer now.

Countless times my "Angel" and I would sit in the kitchen at my aunt's house and he would share with me definitive stories about HIS life and experiences. He would give me a scenario that would prompt me to think and relate his story to MY given situation.

It always amazed me how this man who seemingly on the outside gave the appearance of being a quiet laid back gent, came alive where I was concerned. He somehow