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Two Ways to Feel Fear

2008-03-20来源:

In a memorable Depression-era radio speech on the radio, President Franklin Roosevelt declared, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."He was dead right. And for the next few minutes we're going to look at why he was right, and what FEAR really is, and how it can be turned into something strong and productive for you with just a few simple tactics you can learn in less than 10 minutes.

This is important learning, because more often than not it's fear that prevents us from making the changes that are needed to improve our lives. And it's fear that paralyzes us when change invades from the outside?a layoff, a death in the family, the end of a relationship. All of these change-producing events create fear. And how we deal with fear makes all the difference between a positive outcome and?no outcome at all!An old friend of mine put fear into perspective some time ago by relating each letter of the word F-E-A-R to another word -- like this:

F - FALSE
E - EVIDENCE
A - APPEARING
R - REAL.

FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

...or another way of looking at it (which was my way for much of my life)...

F - FORGET
E - EVERYTHING
A - AND
R - RUN!!!

But let's start this survey of fear with a definition that's a little plainer than my friend's acronym - or mine!

According to Webster's dictionary, FEAR is: "An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger." Another way of saying this might be: "A negative expectation about the future," or "A feeling that something is about to be lost or taken away." Where does fear come from? Does it come from those things that make us fearful? No. It comes from inside ourselves. FEAR is an emotion. Is an emotion a FACT? It sure seems so when we experience one. But is this REALITY? No. WE create our emotions as a function of imagination. Emotions come from thoughts.

It follows, then, that if we create the emotion called fear, then we ought to be able to control it!

But how many times in your life has your fear ruled you...made you sweat...almost stopped your breathing...made you feel real funny down around your stomach...kept you PARALYZED?

It could be that now is one of those times. You're suddenly unemployed, or threatened with a layoff, weathering a failed relationship, in a financial crisis...whatever. That may even be why you're reading this today. If so, then let's give you some good news.

We feel fear at very specific times...times we refer to as "crisis." The ancient Chinese observed this, and they also observed that fear has two components -- anxiety and excitement.

From this, they divined that a "crisis" really represents a duality of Danger and Opportunity. Which one you choose as the benchmark for your crisis IS up to you! And that's good news?you can CHOOSE. So here are five comforting thoughts from Susan Jeffers, author of FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.

1. Fear will never go away as long as you're growing.

2. The only way to overcome fear is to take positive action.

3. The only way to feel better about yourself is to walk right through the fear.

4. Remember that fear will always be present in an unfamiliar situation.

5. EVERYONE experiences fear?you're not alone.Although you may have heard one or more of the five truths about fear just expressed, here's a hypothesis about fear that may be new to you.Quoting again from Susan Jeffers: "Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness."

That's very, very important. I know that it's hard to understand this while you're in the middle of the FEAR, but pushing through it is, indeed, less frightening than living with the fear itself.

Let's look at how this hypothesis developed. First of all, what's the first thing that happens when you feel FEAR? It stops you cold. Your thinking process is affected, and you generally just want the fear to go away. What do you usually do to remove the FEAR? You push it away, or you tuck it inside and try to go on with your