Mastering Your Moods: How To Take Charge Of Your Feelings

John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm vibrancy surging all through him. Hopping eagerly out of bed, he showers, dresses, and with a gleam and sparkle in his eye, goes downstairs to his kitchen and puts on some Coffee.

Still feeling a wonderful composure flowing through him, he goes outside to retrieve the morning paper. And, as he has his breakfast, he begins to peruse the front page.

The recession is continuing, unemployment rates keep climbing, American job security reaching all time instability highs. He begins to feel tense, and agitated. "Why the hell does President Bush constantly send all those billions in aid to foreign countries when we need it right here!"

His morning calm now begins to shift to feelings of aggravation and discontent. And, as he exits his Home to drive to work, he feels the bitterness begin to dissipate. His easy, morning calm seems to be reestablishing.

As he drives to work, he's cut off by a large cargo van. "Hey, you idiot, why don't you watch where you're going!" Now, feeling tense once again - almost vengeful - he's driving aggressively, trying to catch up to the "moron" to tell him off. But, traffic conditions won't allow for it.

Arriving at work, he's still sort of emotionally jumbled from his commute. "Well, what the hell, I've gotta get started now," he thinks with a sense of rushed anticipation.

At his desk he sees a large post-it note stuck to his phone. "John, see me right away -- before you do anything today! G.P." "Oh crap," he says. "What does my district manager want with me personally?" He now feels anxious and doubtful as he walks into G.P.'s office. And 40 minutes later he emerges; the anxious, nervous feeling he experienced before he went in is now replaced with sensations of frustration and resentment at having just been sucked into an assignment that should have been given to three individuals to share. "Man," he exhorts with futile dismay, "they keep lumping more and more on my back. I'm only one guy...what's going on here?"

His intense mental/emotional pre-occupation with his new task workload makes him late for his 3:30 appointment with marketing. As he enters the conference room, he feels as if the others see him as a flake, a "screw-up," and irresponsible. "I had to complete some important calls," he says. And after his meeting, the cold shoulder treatment he receives makes him feel as if he's unliked, poorly thought of, and an outcast.

"Ah well," he muses, "looks like it's another one of those days."

Leaving work and feeling relieved, he drives to his health club only to find the lot jammed, and cars lined up almost to the street, striving to grab the first available space. "Oh no, not again; DAMN IT!!"

Finally inside and changed, he now finds he must rush through his workout so he can shower, change, and pick up Karen for his dinner date. "RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, why can't it ever get easier?" And, as he finally picks up Karen, instead of feeling the loving warmth he wanted to, he feels a lingering, anxious, frustrated anger which has been taking him up and down, and up and down all day.

"Hi, honey," Karen says to him with an endearing smile. "How was your day?" Almost on fire, he projects a futile, almost dejected glare and says, "Are you just saying that to be nice, or do you really want to know?"

SOUND FAMILIAR?

I'm sure as you read through John's scenario, you could also relate to the emotional roller coaster he experienced throughout his day. Transcending from the soothing calm of awakening, to the angry frustration of being oppressed, put upon, and forced to wait (and all the feelings in between), it's as if your emotional state is constantly played havoc with by everything that goes on around you. Happy/depressed, calm/tense, relaxed/angered, content/frustrated -- the cycle seemingly goes on day in and day out. "Well, I'm sick of this emotional roller coaster, these continual mood swings, but I feel like a victim of my environment. It's like I can't control it, so what can I do to stop this damn fluctuation?"

So common is the preceding concern that many of my clients have asked me to devise a strategy they could implement to stop the constant ups and downs (and the debilitating energy drain it incites). Feeling an emotional slave to their environment, they wanted a way to sustain a "middle of the road" fe