Allowing Joy

"Ask and it shall be given" is a phrase we have all heard. I believe instead, "Ask and find yourself worthy of receiving."

If you're like most of us, you've experienced joy, at least a little. But have you found your way to experiencing the everyday, easy flow of joy that fills the body from the inside?

Christianity and Buddhism both teach the principle that joy is an inner quality. The belief is that at the core of each person lies calm radiant joy. Everyone is born inherently happy. But through our life experiences, we cover and conceal our true self with layers of worry, fear, and doubt. Through habit we have taught ourselves to think thoughts that create difficult feelings.

If indeed at the core of us lies joy itself, than the process of experiencing joy can be viewed in a different light. There is no event, no person, nothing which can grant you this feeling. There is nothing you have to do first before you can be worthy of feeling joy. Joy comes from the inside. Joy is the core of who you are. Joy is not something you must earn. You don't have to be thin enough, rich enough, good enough, nice enough, or even pretty enough to have this feeling of joy. Imagine the freedom of knowing that the essence of who you are is joy!

Logically, it would seem that any one of us would easily allow ourselves to feel good. But this is often not the case. We have become heavily invested in feeling bad about ourselves. We may say we want to feel happy, but we'll actually do anything we can to avoid it. We allow ourselves to tolerate pain and discomfort. We cling to worries. Our minds insist on dwelling on unhappy thoughts. Dark thoughts have become habitual and automatic. And we've become experts at postponing joy. Maybe you see yourself in some of these examples:

> Waiting until losing weight before dressing comfortably and attractively.

> Thinking the joy will come once you've achieved the goal.

> Self-criticism for each step of the goal not accomplished perfectly.

> Never acknowledging individual effort or success.

> Eating wonderful meals only when in the company of others.

> cooking for others, but not yourself.

> Sneaking certain foods alone.

> Tolerating poor treatment from others.

> Not allowing self-care.

> Isolating because you have decided you are not worthy of being with other people in your current state.

> Not achieving your goals.

What are some of the ways you hold yourself back from feeling joy:

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HOW TO FEEL JOY

How do we go about feeling joy? In my experience, deep, fulfilling joy isn't something that instantly happens. Why? The answer has it's roots in what has already been stated: We are joy itself. But we don't trust ourselves to relax, to choose thoughts that make us feel good, to not engage in worry. We don't trust our higher joyful Self to connect with our physical body. We don't know how to fill up with our own joy. So it's going to take a bit of a process to allow this connection to occur.

A starting point to allow the connection of joy with your physical body is to make a conscious decision that you are tired of working on your life and working on your problems. Decide you want to experience joy. Make the decision over and over again. The decision to experience joy involves taking responsibility to learn new behaviors and to act differently. Learning to appreciate the love and beauty already happening. Learning to appreciate our own efforts. Letting problems be solved with positive intent, envisioning solutions, and staying in a place of feeling good, rather than feeling worry and fear. We can train our minds to consistently think positive thoughts. Yes, all of this requires effort, but it is possible. Joy is not something someone else can do for us or give us. This is the mission of your life: To feel joy. And only