解读2010年6月大学英语六级写作(8)

　　模拟训练三
　　【范文】
　　Campus Security
　　Security issue may sound cliched, but when it comes to the campus security, we have to take it seriously.Nearly every day, there are reports to the security office on campus that valuable things are stolen away.A surrounding with stealing, mugging can’t be worse for studying.In such cases, what measures should be taken to improve the campus security?
　　Above all, we students should strengthen our security awareness.Once we smell out something unusual, we should report it to the campus guard immediately.In addition, more equipment such as monitors should be installed on campus so as to detect crimes as soon as possible.Besides, a proper amount of security guards should be arranged to patrol the campus.
　　As to me, campus security will be improved as long as efforts are made on campus.Therefore colleges and universities should exert their best efforts to make everyone on campus safe and sound.
　　【点评】
　　文章以描述校园安全出现的问题进入主题，逐步引申到应该及时采取措施，最后进行展望，提出号召。文章第二段使用On the one hand，On the other hand介绍解决问题的方法，使文章意思表达简洁明了。本文使用了一些精彩的语言及句式，例如：In such cases, what measures should be taken to…, strengthen our security awareness, exert their best efforts to, safe and sound等，使文章更具文采。