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My husband an I will be married 10 years this fall, and I think we're ready for some new vows.
We've pretty much mastered for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all othters. Instead of repeating those vows and recommitting to what we've already accomplished, I want us to make some new promises for this stage of our relationship.

Here are a few:

I will trim my nose hair as often as necessary.

I will not pick my nose or scratch my butt in public.

I won't bite my nails if you don't pick your toes.

I won't mention your belly if you don't mention my gray hair.

I will share the blanket.

It's true--after more than a decade together, some of our physical habits have become annoying. It's hard for me to remember, but there was a time actually lulled me to sleep, rather than keeping me awake.

It isn't just physical habits that can grate on each other's nerves now. Our verbal habits can also be frustrating. For example, my husband is a very funny man. Except when he's not.

So, some additional vows:

I will only tell jokes I know are funny.

If you stop talking to me while I'm reading, I'll stop talking to you while you're watching "Iron Chef."

I promise to interrupt you while you're speaking only in case of an actual emergency (which includes wanting to know where you've put the chocolate).

I won't sing a song unless I know all the words.

I'll try to limit conversations that involve yelling from room to room, except when I'm in the bathroom and need more toilet paper, or when I'm in the bedroom and wonder what's for dinner, or when I'm in th TV room and you're playing computer games.

As we enter our second decade of marriage, we'll both be in our 40s, instead of our 30s. Some of our chaming idiosyncrasies now look more like character flaws. We've both changed, but not necessarily in the ways either of us might have imagined or hoped.

At the same time, there are agreements we've tacitly made, without explicitly acknowledging them. They include:

I will say "I was wrong, you were right."

I will remind you regularly why you married me and why I married you.

I will keep it together when you're falling apart and only fall apart when you're able to hold things together.

As we grow older, we hope to mature faster than we age. We learn to love, honor and cherish ourselves. And we try to have and hold onto money better.

As our marriages age, it becomes harder than ever to forsake all other destractions(kids, work, the Internet) and pay attention to our partners, who we expect to see beside us on the other side of the bed, the other side of the table, the other side of our lives. They are our mirrors, but they are not us.

So, in the next phase of our lives, I will look beyond the flaws and the imperfections and the inadequacies we all feel and celebrate the life my husband and I have created and the love we enjon.

Till death to us part.

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