面对强势人群如何坚守自己的立场

　　No. It’s one of the shortest words in the English vocabulary, but it’s also one of the most difficult for many of us to say。

　　NO(不)，这个词可谓是英文中最短的单词之一了。但要说出一个“不”字，对很多人来说却大有难度。

　　We all know that setting limits will lower our stress level and save our sanity, but sometimes we are caught off guard by people who simply won’t take no for an answer. Read on to learn how to put your foot down with these master manipulators。

　　我们都明白，为自己的承受力设限可以降低压力，让自己保持清醒。但有时，一些人并不准备从你那里得到否定答案，你在这些人面前完全没有防备之力。阅读以下的内容，可以知道如何在这些超有控制欲的人面前保持立场。

　　The Flatterer

　　拍马屁的人

　　Whether it’s the friend who tells you how smart you are and how much she’d appreciate your help on a volunteer project she’s working on, or the school mom who insists that the students will be so disappointed if you don’t make your special cupcakes for the class holiday party, the flatterer plays to your vanity by making you feel indispensable。

　　你的朋友或许会夸奖你有多聪明，并声称如果你帮她完成一个志愿项目的话，她会心怀感激；老师或许会说如果你不为班级的周末派对做蛋糕的话，学生们会十分失望。不管何种情形，拍马屁的人会以迎合你的虚荣心的方式，让你觉得自己无可替代。

　　Reality check: If you want to help out because it gives you pleasure, fine, but no one is irreplaceable. “If it’s not brain surgery, others can do it—maybe not with your pizzazz, but it will get done and the cosmos will not explode in the process,” says Susan Newman, PhD, author of The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It and Stop People- Pleasing Forever。

　　审视现实：如果你因为可以从中得到快乐而答应帮忙，这当然无可厚非。但你必须知道，没有人无可替代。“又不是动脑手术，其他人也能做--或许别人没你那么活力四射，但事情还是能完成，并且这个过程中，宇宙也不会爆炸”着有《250种方法说“不”》的苏珊·纽曼博士如是说，“别老是想着讨好别人。”

　　Your response: Turn the tables—flattery goes both ways. Instead of giving in, put the ball in the flatterer’s court. Say something like, “You’re such a fabulous baker—I could give you the recipe! Why don’t you try your hand at it; I’m sure the kids would love it。”

　　你的应对：扭转局势--反拍马屁。你无需放弃，你可以将选择权发配给对方，比如你可以说：“你最面包真的很棒，我给你食谱吧！你或许可以自己试试做面包哦。我想孩子们会喜欢的。”