什么朋友你不该与之交往

When it comes to friends, there's bound to be a few bad apples in the bunch. For whatever reason -- maybe they're overly critical, perpetually depressed or just plain annoying -- you can't stand to be around them. Yet rather than keeping them in your life, consider giving them the heave-ho or you could suffer.
提到朋友，在那么一大堆人里必定有几个害群之马。不管是出于什么原因，可能他们过于吹毛求疵、始终沮丧或纯粹只是讨厌，你无法忍受呆在他们身边。然而，你可以考虑与他们绝交或者你可以承受，也胜过继续与之交往。

"Keeping toxic people around could take away time and energy from positive friends, damage your self-esteem or put you in harm's way," says Jan Yager, Ph.D., sociologist and author of When Friendship Hurts. Here, she deconstructs a dozen so-called friends you may want to break up with.
“让损友留在身边，会耗损益友的时间和精力，伤害你的自尊或者害了你自己”，社会学家《当朋友让你伤害》的作者詹.耶格博士说。这里，她解析了十二种你可能想要与之绝交的所谓的朋友。

The Faultfinder 
吹毛求疵的人

You know these people: They're always critical of everything you do and say, which can be contagious. If this friend has redeeming traits, ignore the overly critical comments or make a joke by saying something like, "Let's see if you can last an hour without saying anything negative." However, if you're unable to distance yourself or your self-esteem is hurting too much, step away from the relationship.
你认识这种人：他们对你所做和所说的每件事情都一直挑刺，这种行为有时候会感染他人（情绪）。如果这个朋友也有一些可以弥补缺点的优点，那你就不要把他过度挑剔的意见放在心上，或者开个这样玩笑，如：“让我们看看如果你不发表任何批判意见，是不是能坚持一个小时”。可是，如果你抛不开这些，或者自尊受到太大伤害，那么就应远离这种关系。

The Therapist 
心理诊疗师

Too much advice is never good, especially from a supposed friend. If you're keeping this person around because of the other wonderful traits she possesses, tell your friend you don't want advice unless you ask. Or thank the person without discussing her comments. Another solution? Start analyzing her and she may realize how annoying that can be.
忠告太多就不是什么好事，尤其是当这些忠告出于一个你所认为的朋友。如果你继续和她交往是因为她还具有其他很好的特质，那么，告诉你的朋友，除非是你主动要求否则你不需要别人的建议。或者绝口不提她给的建议，而只是谢谢她。另外的解决办法？开始分析她的性格，这样有可能她会意识到老给别人建议会有多烦人。

 
The Self-Absorbed 
自恋狂

Everyone is self-absorbed to some extent, but when a person is always focused on herself and never lets you share anything about yourself, something needs to give. Because she may not be aware she's doing this, let your friend know. If she can't curb this trait and you don't want the friendship to end, limit how long you let her go on about herself; then give yourself equal air time.
从某种程度来说，每个人都是自恋的，但是当一个人总是以自我为中心，从不让你分享你自己的任何事情，某些需要交流的事情。因为她可能并未意识自己的行为，那么，要让你的朋友知道。如果她不能抑制这种性格，而你不也想要终结这种友谊，就限制她絮絮叨叨谈论自己的时间，然后，给自己同样长的发表意见的时间。

The Copy Cat
一味模仿者

Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but it could create hostility between you and your friend. If you want to keep her around, protect yourself by keeping things to yourself more often or timing when you share information. If, though, this trait is too annoying, end the friendship.
模仿是奉承的最高级形式，但是这会让你和朋友之间产生敌意。如果你想和她交往，那么，就可以通过更多地单独行事或者当分享某信息时掌握好合适的时间，从而保护你自己。可是如果这种性格太烦人，那就终结友谊。

The Promise Breaker 
爱违约者

You're tired of constantly being disappointed by this friend, so if you want to keep this person around, lower your expectations. Also, call your friend on this behavior. Clue her in by asking, "Did you know this is the fourth time in two months you had to cancel lunch at the last minute?" However, if this trait puts you in too many compromising situations, makes you feel frustrated or disappointed in yourself for being treated like this, it may be time to abandon ship.
你受够了这种朋友经常地让你失望，所以，如果你想继续和这种人交往，就要降低期望值。同时，也要和你的朋友谈谈这种行为。通过下面的问话来提示她，如：“你知道吗？这是两个月内，你第四次在最后一刻取消午餐”。然而，如果这种性格置你于太多不利情形，因为受到这样的待遇，你感到灰心丧气或失望，可能正是放弃这段友谊的时候了。

The Risk Taker 
好冒险的人

From shoplifting and experimenting with drugs to driving recklessly, your daredevil friend's behavior should raise serious red flags. "You need to protect yourself," Yager says, adding that you want to encourage your friend to stop her risk-taking ways. But don't try to change her yourself; more than likely, your friend will need help from a professional therapist. Then tell your friend you're suspending your relationship until she straightens up.
从入店行窃、以身试毒到不顾后果驾驶，你蛮勇的朋友的行为应引起严重警戒，“你需要保护你自己”，耶格说，又补充道，你想要帮助你的朋友停止冒险活动。但是，不要试着单靠你自己来改变她；很有可能，你朋友需要来自己专业理疗师的帮助。然后，告诉你的朋友，你会暂时中止你们的关系，直到她改过自新。