你应该忘记的7堂人生课：往前走别回头

In the past 10 years, I've realized that our culture is rife with ideas that actually inhibit joy. Here are some of the things I'm most grateful to have unlearned:
过去十年里，我意识到我们的文化虽然充满了想法却也抑制了快乐。下面是我更希望不要学习到的东西：

1. Problems are bad.
难题都是坏事。

You spent your school years solving arbitrary problems imposed by boring authority figures. You learned that problems suck. Real problems are wonderful, each carrying the seeds of its own solution. Job burnout? It's steering you toward your perfect career. An awful relationship? It's teaching you what love means. Confusing tax forms? They're suggesting you hire an accountant. Finding the solution to each problem is what gives life its gusto.
在校期间，你总是被无聊的权威人士逼着去解决各式各样的难题。你开始觉得这些难题太糟糕了。真正的难题是很棒的，因为每个难题都需要你找到方法来解决它。工作倦怠？这是促使你朝着完美的事业方向迈进。人际关系糟糕？这是教你爱的真谛。各类税款让你发疯？这是在告诉你要请一个会计了。给每个难题找到解决方法也能给你的生活带来乐趣哦。

2. It's important to stay happy.
保持快乐很重要。

Solving a knotty problem can help us be happy, but we don't have to be happy to feel good. If that sounds crazy, try this: Focus on something that makes you miserable. Then think, "I must stay happy!" Stressful, isn't it? Now say, "It's okay to be as sad as I need to be." This kind of permission to feel as we feel—not continuous happiness—is the foundation of well-being.
解决一个棘手的难题能让我们很开心，但我们可不能为了开心而开心。如果这听起来有点晕的话，那我换个表述：想想那些让你难过的事情，然后告诉自己“我必须开心”。是不是顿觉压力山大了？现在你不妨说“该难过的时候就难过”。让我们的心情顺其自然——持久的快乐并不是幸福的基础。

3. I'm irreparably damaged by my past.
过去深深的伤害了我。

Painful events leave scars, true, but it turns out they're largely erasable. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist who had a stroke that obliterated her memory, described the event as losing "37 years of emotional baggage."  Now it appears we can all effect a similar shift, without having to endure a brain hemorrhage. The very thing you're doing at this moment—questioning habitual thoughts—is enough to begin off-loading old patterns. For example, take an issue that's been worrying you and think of three reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go.
痛苦的事情总会留下疤痕，的确是这样，但它们也会随着时间淡去。神经解剖学家Jill Bolte Taylor因中风失忆了，她把这称为失去了“37年的情感包袱。” 其实不需要中风，我们也能经历类似的情感转变。你现在正在做的事情——怀疑以往的想法——已经足够你把过去那些事都翻篇了。比如，找一件曾让你困扰的事情，再想想三个原因来证明这种想法也许是错的。你的大脑就会忘记这个困扰。