Facebook首席运营官给职场女性的三个建议

There's a really good study that shows this really well. There's a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she's an operator in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist. In 2002 -- not so long ago -- a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it Howard Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: "Heidi" to "Howard." But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and that's good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. He's a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. She's a little out for herself. She's a little political. You're not sure you'd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not.
一个非常棒的研究也很好地表明了这一观点。哈佛商学院有一个著名研究是关于一位叫海蒂•罗森的女性。她是硅谷一家公司的负责人，她使用她的关系成为一名非常成功的风险资本家。在2002年——就是不久前——当时在哥伦比亚大学的一位教授接了这个案例，把它改成霍华德•罗森。他把这两个案例向两组学生展示。他只改变了一个词：海蒂改成霍华德。但这个词就造成了非常大的差异。然后他调查了学生。好消息是男生和女生都认为海蒂和霍华德能力相当，这很好。但坏消息是每个人都喜欢霍华德。他是个了不起的人，大家都想和他共事，大家都想和他去钓鱼。但海蒂呢？不好说。她有点只为自己着想，有点政治手腕。大家不太想和她共事。这就是复杂之处。我们得告诉我们的女儿和我们的同事、我们得告诉我们自己，要相信我们能获得A，得到提升，坐在桌边。在这个世上，女性要争取这些就得做出牺牲，尽管她们的兄弟不用为此而付出牺牲。

The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this. And I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said, "I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, you're giving this talk, and you said you were going to take two more questions. And I had my hand up with lots of other people, and you took two more questions. And I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women put their hand down, and then you took more questions, only from the men." And I thought to myself, wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously -- giving this talk -- and during this talk, I can't even notice that the men's hands are still raised, and the women's hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women? We've got to get women to sit at the table.
关于这件事的最可悲的是很难记住它。我将讲个对我来说是个真正尴尬的故事，但我认为它很重要。在Facebook，不久前我给大约100名员工做关于这个话题的演讲。几小时后，在Facebook工作的一个年轻女性坐到我小桌子旁边，她想和我谈谈。我说，好，她坐了下来，我们谈了起来。她说，“我今天学了一些东西。我知道我需要举起手。” 我说，“你是什么意思？” 她说，“你在演讲时，你说你会回答2个以上问题。我和其他一些人举起手，你回答了2个以上问题。我放下手，我注意到所有女性都把手放了下来，然后你又回答了很多问题，仅有男性参与。” 我自己想了一下——如果换成是我，做这次演讲谁会在乎这个——在这演讲中，我甚至没注意到男士们的手是不是还一直举着，女士们的手是不是还一直举着，当我们作为公司和组织的经理的时候，我们能看见多少男性比女性有更多机会的情况？我们得让女性坐到桌子边上。

Message number two: make your partner a real partner. I've become convinced that we've made more progress in the workforce than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly. If a woman and a man work full-time and have a child, the woman does twice the amount of housework the man does, and the woman does three times the amount of childcare the man does. So she's got three jobs or two jobs, and he's got one. Who do you think drops out when someone needs to be home more? The causes of this are really complicated, and I don't have time to go into them. And I don't think Sunday football-watching and general laziness is the cause.
第二条：让你的伴侣成为一个真正的合作伙伴。我已经确信我们在职场中比在家庭中起了更大的作用。数据也很清楚地表明这点。如果一个女性和一个男性都是全职并有一个小孩，女性比起男性要做两倍多家务活儿，女性比起男性做了三倍多照顾婴儿的事。所以她承担了2份或3份工作，而他只有一份。当有人必须在家多干活时，谁应该留下来？ 这个理由实在太复杂，我没有时间深入讲它们。但我也不认为周日看美式足球和日常懒惰是理由。

I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers, and it's hard. When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies don't play with him. And that's a problem, because we have to make it as important a job, because it's the hardest job in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if we're going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce. Studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the divorce rate. And if that wasn't good enough motivation for everyone out there, they also have more -- how shall I say this on this stage? -- they know each other more in the biblical sense as well.
我认为理由是更加复杂的。我认为，作为一个社会，我们总是更希望男孩子们成功，女孩子则压力小些。我知道让居家男人呆在家里做内务支持职场妻子很难。当我去“妈咪和我”的培训课时，看到那里的父亲，我留意到其他妈咪不愿和他相处。这就是个问题，因为我们得把内务变成一个重要的工作，因为居家工作是世界上最难的工作。无论男人女人，我们只有平分了这些事，女性才可能留在职场。研究表明夫妻收入相等、且夫妻分担责任相当的家庭也有50%的离婚率。如果这数据并不那么鼓舞人，还有更多的，在这个讲台我该怎么讲呢？夫妻双方对于彼此的了解，不仅是做爱这么简单。

Message number three: don't leave before you leave. I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking -- and I see this all the time -- with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here's what happens: We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. "How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?" And literally from that moment, she doesn't raise her hand anymore, she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project, she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that." She starts leaning back. The problem is that -- let's say she got pregnant that day, that day -- nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath -- fast-forward two years, more often -- and as I've seen it -- women start thinking about this way earlier -- when they get engaged, when they get married, when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this, and I kind of looked at her -- she looked a little young. And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?" And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married." She didn't even have a boyfriend. I said, "You're thinking about this just way too early."
建议三：在你离开前别放弃。我认为这是一个非常深刻的讽刺。对于女性所做的事而言——我一直目睹类似情况的发生——女性希望留在职场这个目标，往往导致它们最终不得不离开职场。曾发生这样的事：我们都忙；每个人都很忙；作为一个女人也很忙。她开始考虑生小孩。从她开始考虑生小孩的时候起，她开始考虑为孩子准备房间。 “我该如何调整孩子这件事和手头上的其他事呢？” 言下之意，她不再举起她的手，她不寻求提升，她不做新的计划，她不会说，“我，我想做那个。” 她开始退缩。这是个问题。让我们说说她怀孕的那段日子，9个月的怀胎，3个月的产假，6个月来调养休息，快速调整要2年，更寻常的是——正如我看到女性开始过早考虑这事，当她们有约会或者结婚时，当她们开始考虑要小孩，这会花相当长的一段时间。一位女性关于此事来找我， 我看着她，她显得有点年轻。 我说，“那么你和你丈夫考虑要小孩了？” 她说，“哦不，我还没结婚。” 她甚至没有男友。 我说，“你考虑这个太早了吧。”

But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who's been through this -- and I'm here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it's hard to leave that kid at home -- your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you're making a difference. And if two years ago you didn't take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you're going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don't leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child -- and then make your decisions. Don't make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.
但关键是，一旦你开始退缩下来，接下来会发生什么呢？每个人都会经历这个。在这儿我告诉你，一旦在家你有了孩子，你真的最好回到你的工作中去，因为把小孩留在家太难了，你的工作得有挑战性。它也得有回报。你得感觉到世界因你而变。如果2年前你没有得到提升，在你旁边的一位男士升职了；如果三年前你放弃寻找新的机会，你会觉得很无趣，因为你本应该紧踩油门加油的。在你离开前别放弃。保住工作。 紧踩油门，除非到了你需要离开的那一天——为了孩子休假，然后做出自己的决定。不要提前做太长远决定，特别是你甚至不晓得自己该做怎样的决定。

My generation really, sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. They're just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population -- in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry. But I'm hopeful that future generations can. I think a world that was run where half of our countries and half of our companies were run by women, would be a better world. And it's not just because people would know where the women's bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful. I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments.
我这一代的女性非常可惜，没能改变高管职位的数量。女人们就是待在原地。我们没能达到50%的高管职位——在任何行业的高管职位中，女性都未达到50%。但我希望未来一代人可以做到。我认为我们世界上半数国家和半数公司会由女性所领导，那将会是一个更美好的世界。这不仅仅是因为人们会知道女性洗手间在哪儿，尽管这也有非常大的帮助。我认为它将会是一个更美好的世界。我有2个孩子，5岁的儿子和3岁的女儿。我想我儿子会选择在职场或在家里都尽心尽责，全心奉献。我女儿不仅仅会做出成功的选择，她会更热爱她所做出的成就。

Thank you.
谢谢。