正文
只要两分钟你就能改变:用肢体语言重塑自己
我们是这样做的。我们决定将人们带进实验室,做一个小实验。这些人将维持有力或无力的姿势两分钟,然后我就会告诉你。这五种姿势,虽然他们只做了两种,这是其一,看看这些,这个被媒体取名为 "神力女超人" 还有这些,或站或坐,这些是无力的姿势,你双手交叉,试着让自己变小一点,这是非常无力的一张,当你在摸你的脖子,你其实在保护自己。实际的状况是,他们进来取出唾液,维持一个姿势达两分钟,他们不会看到姿势的照片,因为我们不想要影响他们,我们希望他们自己感觉到力量不是吗?所以他们做了整整两分钟,我们关于一些事物问:“现在你觉得自己多有力量?”受试者接着会有一个博奕的机会,接着再取得唾液范本,这就是整个实验。
So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, what we find is that when you're in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When you're in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that's a pretty whopping significant difference. Here's what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Here's what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and, you know, feeling sort of shut down. And we've all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it's not just others, but it's also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.
我们发现到风险承担能力,也就是在赌博时,当处于强有力的姿势的时,86%的人会选择赌博,相对处于一个较无力的姿势时,只有60%的人,这真是很令人惊讶的差异。就睾丸酮而言我们发现,这些人进来的那一刻起,有力量的那些人会有20%的提高,无力的人则下降10%。所以,再次地,当你有这些改变,有力的人可的松下降25%, 而无力的人可的松则上升15%。两分钟可以让这些荷尔蒙改变使你的脑袋变得果断、自信和自在,或高度紧张以及感到与世隔绝,我们都曾有过这些体验对吗?看来非语言确实掌控我们对自己的想法和感受,不只是别人,更是我们自己。同时,我们的身体可以改变我们的心理。
But the next question, of course, is can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways? So this is in the lab. It's this little task, you know, it's just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this? Which we cared about, of course. And so we think it's really, what matters, I mean, where you want to use this is evaluative situations like social threat situations. Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? Like for teenagers it's at the lunchroom table. It could be, you know, for some people it's speaking at a school board meeting. It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview. We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through was the job interview.
但下一个问题,当然,就是维持数分钟的姿势,是否真能引导一个更有意义的人生呢?刚刚都只是在实验室里,一个小实验,你知道的只有几分钟。你要怎么实现这一切呢?落实在我们关心的地方呢?我们关心的其实是,我是说,你在那里可以用这些技巧去评估时势,像是社交威胁的情形。譬如说你被人打量时?或者是青少年吃午餐的时候,你知道,对有些人来说就好像在开学校的董事会。有时候是一个小演讲,有时是像这种讲演,或是工作面试时,我们后来决定用一个最多人能做比较的,因为大部分人都曾经面试工作过。
So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do when you go in for the job interview, right? (Laughter) You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, no, no, that's not what we meant at all. For numerous reasons, no, no, no, don't do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. It's you talking to yourself. What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. Right? You're sitting down. You're looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out. You are, you know, you're looking at your notes, you're hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes. So that's what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview. It's five minutes long. They are being recorded. They're being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this. Like, imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled. People hate this. It's what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol. So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them. They're blind to the hypothesis. They're blind to the conditions. They have no idea who's been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "Oh, we want to hire these people," -- all the high-power posers -- "we don't want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But what's driving it? It's not about the content of the speech. It's about the presence that they're bringing to the speech. We also, because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech? How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is what's affected. These kinds of things. People are bringing their true selves, basically. They're bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them. So this is what's driving the effect, or mediating the effect.
我们将这些发现发表出来,接着媒体就大量曝光说,好,所以你去面试时,你得这样做,对吧?(笑声) 我们当然大吃一惊,表示我的天啊,不不不,我们不是这个意思。不管什么原因,不不,千万别这么做,这和你跟别人交谈无关,这是你在和你自己交谈,你在面试工作之前会怎么做?你会这样,对吧?你会做下来,你盯着自己的iphone或者安卓,转移自己的视线,你看着自己的笔记,你把自己蜷缩起来,试着让自己变得小一点,你真正需要做的应该是找个浴室,然后这样,花个两分钟,所以我们想做的是这个,把人带进实验室,他们再次保持有力或无力姿势,接着进行一个高度压力的面试,为时五分钟。所有都会被记录下来,同时也会被评论,而这些考官都接受过训练,不会给予任何非语言的反馈,所以他们看起来就像这样,像图上所示,想象一下,这个人正在面试你,整整五分钟,什么都没有,这比刁难诘问更难受,大家都不喜欢这种方式。这就是Marianne LaFrance所谓的 "陷入社交流沙中" 这可以大大激发你的可的松,我们给予受试者这样的面试,因为我们真的想看看会有什么样的结果,接着我们得出下列四种结果,受试者不知假设前提和状况下,没有人知道谁摆什么样的姿势,接着他们观看这些带子,然后他们说,“噢,我们想要录用这些人”——那些摆强有力姿势的人——“这些人我们不想录用”,我们也评量这群人整体而言更正面,但背后的原因是什么?这跟演讲的内容无关,而是他们在演讲中带出来的存在感,同时,我们也就这些关于能力的变动因素评价他们,像是演讲的整体架构怎样?它有多棒?演讲者的证照学历?这些全都无关。有影响的是这些事。基本上人们表达真实的自己,就他们自己,他们的想法,当他们心里没有芥蒂,这就是背后真实的力量,或者可以说是计划的结果。
So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, "I don't -- It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. I don't -- It's not me. I don't want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don't want to feel like an impostor. I don't want to get there only to feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I'm not supposed to be here.
所以当我告诉人们,我们的身体会改变心理,心理会改变行为,而行为会改变结果,他们跟我说“我不这么觉得——听起来好像是假的”对吗?我就说,你就假装一直到你达成目的为止。不是我啦,我不想要到达到那个目标后仍然感觉像是一个骗局,我不想要成为一个骗子,我一点也不想达到那个目标才发觉我不应该如此,我真是有感而发的。这里跟大家分享一个小故事,关于成为一个骗子然后感到不应该在这里的故事。
When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my I.Q. had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my I.Q. because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, "You're not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you." So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.
在我19岁的时候,发生了一场很严重的车祸。我整个人飞出车外,滚了好几翻,我是弹出车外的,之后在休息室醒来以后发现头部重伤,我从大学里休学,别人告知我智商下降了2个标准差,情况非常非常糟糕,我知道我的智商应该是多少,因为我以前被人家认为是很聪明的那种,小时候大家都觉得我很有才华。当我离开大学时,我试着回去,他们都告诉我说,“你没有办法毕业的。你知道,你还可以做很多其它的事啊,别往死胡同里钻了。”我死命挣扎,我必须承认,当你的认同感被剥夺的时候,那个主要的身分认同,就我而言是我的智力被夺走了,再没有比这个更加无助的时候了,我感到完全的无助,我拼命地疯狂地努力,幸运眷顾,努力,幸运眷顾,再努力。
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That's it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting." She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do. You are going to fake it. You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" So that's what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here. Not supposed to be here."
最终我从学校毕业了。我比同学多花了四年的时间,然后说服我的恩师,Susan Fiske让我进去,所以我最后进入了普林斯顿。我当时觉得,我不应该在这里,我是个骗子,在我第一年演讲的那个晚上,普林斯顿第一年的演讲,大约是对20个人做20分钟的演讲。就这样,我当时如此害怕隔天被拆穿,所以我打给她说,“我不干了。”她说:“你不可以不干,因为我赌在你身上了,你得留下。你会留下,你将会留下来了。你要骗过所有人。你被要求的每个演讲你都得照办。你得一直讲一直讲,即使你怕死了,脚瘫了,灵魂出窍了,直到你发现你在说,噢,我的天啊,我正在做这件事,我已经成为它的一部分了,我正在做它。”这就是说所做的,硕士的五年,这些年,我在Northwestern,我后来去了哈佛,我在哈佛,我没有在想到它,但之前有很长一段时间我都在想这件事“不应该在这。不应该在这。”
So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, you've gotta participate or else you're going to fail," came into my office. I really didn't know her at all. And she said, she came in totally defeated, and she said, "I'm not supposed to be here." And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I don't feel like that anymore. You know. I don't feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it. So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow you're going to fake it, you're going to make yourself powerful, and, you know, you're gonna — " (Applause) (Applause) "And you're going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever." You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and they were like, oh my God, I didn't even notice her sitting there, you know? (Laughter)
所以哈佛第一年结束,我对整个学期在课堂上都没有说话的一个学生说:你得参与融入否则你不会过这一科的,来我的办公室吧。其实我压根就不认识她。她说:她很挫败地进来了,她说“我不应该在这里的。”就在此刻,两件事发生了,我突然明白,天啊,我再也没有这种感觉了。你知道吗。我再也不会有那种感觉,但她有,我能体会到她的感受。第二个想法是,她应该在这里!她可以假装,一直到她成功为止。所以我跟她说,“你当然应该!你应该在这里!”明天起你就假装,你要让自己充满力量,你要知道你将会——”(掌声) (掌声)“你要走进教室,你会发表最棒的评论。”你知道吗?她就真的发表了最成功的评论,大家都回过神来,他们就好像:喔我的天啊,我竟没有注意到她坐在那里,你知道吗?(笑声)
She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. You know? It's not — Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.
几个月后她来找我,我才明白,她不仅只是假装到她成功为止,她已经融会贯通了,整个人脱胎换骨。我想对大家说,不要仅为了成功而假装,要把它溶到你骨子里去。知道吗?持续地做直到它内化到你的骨髓里。
The last thing I'm going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Don't leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn't show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, oh, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.
最后与大家分享的是,小小的调整可以有大大的改变。就两分钟,两分钟,两分钟,两分钟。在你进行下一场紧张的评估之前,拿出两分钟,尝试做这个,电梯里、浴室间,房门关起在你的桌子前面,你就这么做,设置你的脑袋,以发挥最大效益,提升你的睾丸铜,降低你的可的松,千万别留下“噢,我没把最好的表现出来”的那种遗憾,而是留下“噢,我真想让他们知道,让他们看见,我是个怎样的人”的印象。
So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple. I don't have ego involved in this. (Laughter) Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power. Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life. Thank you. (Applause) (Applause)
在这里我想要求大家,你知道的,尝试这有力的姿势,同时也想请求各位把这项科学分享出去,因为它很简单,我可不是自尊心的问题喔(笑声)。放开它。和人分享,因为最经常可以使用它的人会是那些没有资源和技术的一群人,没有社会地位和权势。把这个传达给他们,好让他们可以私下这样做,他们会需要他们的身体、隐私和那两分钟,然后这会大大地改变他们生活的结果。谢谢(掌声) (掌声)