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我们都曾经历过:生活教会我的8堂人生课
Recently, I celebrated another birthday. As I look back at how quickly time passes, I am amazed at how much can change in a matter of a year. I think we go through cycles of change -- when the complete unexpected throws you off your equilibrium --giving you the opportunity to reassess and recalibrate.
不久前我庆祝了又一个生日。回首往事,时间确如白驹过隙,一年之中可以发生怎样的变化啊!我觉得我们在经历变化循环。当完全出乎意料的事情打破你的旧平衡,就是给你机会重新估价自己并校正方向。
This past year was one of those cycles for me -- and slowly but surely the pieces that were thrown up in the air are falling into place. At a time of reflection, I'd like to share with you some of the things I have learned.
对我来说,过去的一年是那些循环中的一环,慢慢地却确信无疑地被抛起然后回落的过程。反思之余,希望能与你分享我的一些心得。
1. The difference between happy people and unhappy people is their level of gratitude.
快乐的人与不快乐的人的不同,在于他们对生活抱有多少感激。
If you observe anyone who is miserable, you will notice they are never satisfied and constantly blaming their history, luck or other people for their struggles. If you observe happy people, they are full of gratitude.
在观察痛苦感伤的人时,你会发现他们总是不满足于现状并且不停地抱怨自己的过去、运气或别人的竞争。在观察快乐的人时,你会发现他们满怀感激。
Instead of focusing on what they don't have to achieve/attract love/move forward -- they choose to focus on solutions to create the life they want. Even when these people are triggered by a bad turn of events, after reacting with sadness/frustration/stress/anger -- they get back to their baseline of happiness in due time.
他们集中精力寻找创造他们想要的生活的途径,而不是为一些无关紧要的事情劳心伤神。甚至当受到负面冲击而爆发,在伤心/挫折/紧张/生气之后,他们会适时地回到幸福底线。
Studies show that you can actually rewire your brain for happiness by practicing gratitude on a daily basis. Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. How you will live your days is a choice that is completely within your control.
研究显示,每天下意识地让自己感激,你就能调整你的大脑对幸福的感知。感激是一种选择,幸福是一种态度。如何度过每一天完全在于你自己。
2. You will have your heart broken, and you will survive.
你会心碎,但你会熬过去。
You'd think that one would get better at handling heartaches with age. But they don't get any easier or less painful, do they?
你会认为,随着年龄的增长人们会更得心应手地应对心痛。但是,并不是生活对他们来说更容易、更少心痛,不是吗?
While the intensity of hurt can be just as potent, if not more, with each relationship that comes and goes, I have learned that we have an unbreakable spirit that enables us to get back up even after the most crushing of heart experiences.
痛苦可能具有极大的杀伤力,但从各种过往关系中,我知道我们有一种坚不可摧的精神,它甚至能在我们遭受最痛苦的经历之后治愈我们的创伤。
When you're going through the pain of separation it can be difficult to imagine being happy again. But nobody can take away your baseline of joy and happiness.
当遭受离别之痛时,很难想象你会再度拥抱幸福。但是没有人能带走你的快乐与幸福底线。
Even if you are knocked off your feet for a period of time, you do eventually get back to your equilibrium. If you're going through that dark stage where you feel stuck in suffering, try and remember this: You will love again. You will be loved again.
即使你一度被击垮,但你最终会恢复平衡。如果你觉得正在遭受无法摆脱的痛苦,一定要记住:你会再次爱别人,你会再次赢得别人的爱。
3. You will lose your job, and eventually find a better fit.
你可能会失去工作,而结果你获得了一份更适合你的工作。
Endings are just new beginnings in disguise. You may be uncomfortable with the uncertainty, but some of the best things in life are born from those times of being open to new opportunities.
结束正是新起点的伪装。面对不确定性你或许不安,但是生命中一些极好的事情却诞生于拥抱新机遇的时刻。
4. People you love will hurt you and disappoint you. Try to look beyond their mistakes and understand their intentions.
你爱的人会伤害你并让你大失所望。努力发现他们错误之外的闪光点,理解他们的意图。
I used to be black and white with friendships. A friend was either a BFF or a mere acquaintance; there wasn't much gray area in between. And if a friend hurt me or didn't encompass the values I did, I'd cut that friendship off.
我曾非常极端地看待友情。要么一生的朋友要么点头之交,没有太多中间地带。如果一个朋友伤害了我或者不认可我的所作所为,那我们的友谊将就此了结。
But I've learned that we all can act a little selfish, forget to consider the people we love, or take others for granted. And that's okay. People go through phases, people make mistakes -- that shouldn't discount a history of times your friend was there for you.
但是,我认识到我们大家都有点自私,会忘记为我们所爱的人去考虑或认为别人为我们做事理所当然。其实没什么,人们会经历各种阶段,人们会犯错误——这些不应该抹杀他们曾给予你的支持。
Sometimes a friendship just needs time to breathe before it can flow again. And that's okay, too.
有时为摆脱僵局,给友情一个喘息的机会。这样也是可以的。