小事情大麻烦: 帮朋友忙要不要收钱

Just as a houseguest eventually overstays his welcome, so too do people overburden you by assuming you'll continue your role as adviser, counselor, therapist, problem solver, or life coach, indefinitely. After sharing your initial thoughts or giving some meaningful advice for free, it's entirely acceptable to change the dynamic.
久住难为人。客人待得太久，难免遭人厌烦。人们认为你会无限期地继续扮演顾问、咨询师、治疗师、问题解决达人或生活教练的角色，最终将给你带来过于沉重的负担。分享你最初的想法、无偿提供一些有益的建议之后，改变这种状态是完全合情合理。

If the advice you're providing is directly related to your profession or your side hustle, then be upfront and acknowledge you'll need to put together an agreement to make sure you're compensated for your time and energy going forward. If the advice relates simply to a natural talent or hobby but not how you earn your keep, you're still entitled to be compensated.
如果你提供的建议直接关系到你的专业或者你的副业，那就坦白直言，承认你需要达成一项协议，确保你付出的时间和精力能够获得报酬。如果这些建议只是涉及你的天赋或爱好，但是并不是你的谋生之道，你也仍然有权得到补偿。

Once you've established your inability to provide bottomless advice for free, you can then soften the blow. State that you're willing to stay involved on a more casual level for free and serve as a background adviser. This shows you to be generous and genuine in wanting to help while at the same time protecting your professional integrity. It also gives your friend a way to save face if they never had any intention of paying you in the first place.
一旦向人明确，你不能毫无限制地免费提供意见，你就可以减轻对别人的伤害。你可以表态，愿意继续以更轻松自在的方式提供免费意见，担任后备顾问的角色。一方面，这样做显示了你的慷慨大度，真心诚意地愿意帮助别人，另一方面也维护了你的职业操守。如果朋友们从来没有想过向你付钱的话，这种方式还让你的朋友保全了面子。

Offering over-the-shoulder advice after the more formal "you-should-pay-me" route communicates that there's a difference between pinging you occasionally with questions and taxing you regularly with real or meaningful work that you should be compensated for.
“你应该付钱给我。”经过这样的交流，以后再蜻蜓点水地继续提供建议，这样就可以传达出一个信息：偶尔麻烦你解决问题和经常让你从事原本应该得到报酬的真正或有意义的工作，两者之间是有区别的。

Lastly, go ahead and recommend others who might help your friend's cause. This demonstrates that you're not trying to profiteer here -- you genuinely have your buddy's best interest at heart. Perhaps working together formally is just too awkward or uncomfortable, perhaps you don't have the time or capacity no matter the financial arrangement, or perhaps you're really not the best person for the job. Whatever the case, you probably know someone who can help.
最后，推荐其他可能对你朋友的事业有所帮助的人。这表明你并不想借此牟取暴利——你真诚地关心好友的核心利益。也许只是因为双方正式的合作会觉得太尴尬，或者让人感到不舒服，也许你单纯只是因为没有时间或者能力解决问题，跟钱没有关系，又也许你并不是做这份工作的最好人选。无论是哪种情况，你都可能认识某个能够帮上忙的人。

You owe it to yourself to not undermine the value of your time. While you're happy to give and share advice when appropriate, you're not in the business of being taken for a ride. Have enough self-respect and confidence to value your time and energy appropriately and help out when you can. But don't feel forced to do Aunt Edna's taxes year after year, write Johnny college essays, or give legal advice for free.
你要努力不贬低自己的时间价值。尽管你很高兴在适当的时候做出贡献和分享建议，但是你并不愿意白白被别人利用。你有足够的自尊和信心，合理地珍惜你的时间和精力，在你力所能及的时候提供帮助。但是不要觉得自己被迫年复一年地为艾德娜阿姨报税，为约翰尼写大学论文，或者免费提供法律意见。