实用社交课堂：11种方式做一个主动倾听的人

Silence in a conversation can be scary, but a pause allows the speaker to gather their thoughts and for you to digest what is being said.
在一场谈话中，沉默看起来很吓人，但是暂停可以让讲话者整理他的想法，并且让你消化已经说过的话。

7. Don’t interrupt! 
不要打断！

It’s disrespectful and distracting.
这很无理，而且会让讲话者分心。

8. Reflect back
反馈

Restate, but don’t repeat verbatim. Paraphrase what you think the other party is saying with responses such as: “What I’m hearing is…” or “Let me see if I’m following you…” Reflecting back what you’ve heard signals that you’re attempting to understand fully.
重申，而不是逐字重复。用你的方式讲出对方的话，比如：“我听到的是……” 或者“我让想想，我理解你的意思应该是……”反映你听到的信息表明了你的充分了解。

9. Clarify
澄清

Ask relevant questions to make sure you understand. Make them open-ended questions, if possible. A “yes” or “no” may confirm, but an explanation offers more information. Probe for feelings.Sometimes the emotions behind the words are more important than the words themselves when someone is seeking to be understood.
为了确保理解，提问相关的问题。如果可以的话，问题需要是开放式的。一个“是”或者“不”可以确认，但是解释会提供更多的信息。寻求意见。有时，如果有人想要被理解，言语后的情感比言语本身更重要。

10. Keep an open-mind
保持开放的心态

Defer judgments, whether agreement or disagreement and don’t make assumptions. Wait until the speaker is finished before formulating opinions. It’s so hard not to think about what you’re going to say next, especially if there’s disagreement, but you miss what is being said if you’re thinking about your own response.
不要急于判断是否同意，也不要提出假设。在发言者表达观点前，稍作等待。不去想你将要说什么很困难，特别是当你有不同意见时，但是如果你在想自己的回复时，你会错过正在说的东西。

11. Respond appropriately
做出适当的回应

Be open and honest in your responses. Share your thoughts, in sights and feelings in a clear, but respectful and considerate manner. You can acknowledge the speaker’s concerns and thoughts even if you disagree…especially when you disagree.
做出坦率和真诚的回复。明显和清晰地分享你的想法，但是要有礼貌和适当的表达。即使你不同意，你也可以表示接收到了讲话者的观点……特别是当你不同意时。

Active listening is a model for good communication. Remember that listening is not just to gather informationand share ideas, but also to gain perspective and understanding. It takes practice to develop active listening skills, and it’s a habit that has to be reinforced. Remind yourself that the goal of conversation is not merely to trade words, but to truly understand what the other party is saying and to be understood in turn.
主动倾听是良好的沟通方式。请记住，倾听不只是单纯的收集信息和分享想法，而且也是获得观点和理解的方式。倾听需要通过练习来提升主动倾听的技巧，而且这是一个必须加强的习惯。提醒自己，谈话的目的不只是言语交换，而是真正理解对方的意思，并且也要被对方理解。