关于幸福的8个传说 你都信吗？

Decades of research on the science of happiness shows that there’s a big—and potentially life-altering—difference between what you think will make you happy and the things that actually do, argues University of California, Riverside psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, in her fascinating new book The Myths of Happiness.
加利福利亚大学教授 Sonja Lyubomirsky在她的新书《幸福的传说》中指出，根据长期关于幸福的科学研究发现，在你觉得可以让你幸福和实际让你幸福的事物之间有着巨大差异，这样的差异有可能改变你的生活。

Myth: The right marriage will provide endless happiness.
传说：正确的婚姻会带来无尽的幸福

Science says: The average person picks up a sizeable boost in happiness when he or she gets married, but this only lasts about two years. After that, the former newlywed reverts back to his or her happiness level before the engagement.
科学表明：一般人在结婚时的幸福感会爆棚，但这只会持续2年左右。只会，新婚夫妇的幸福水准就会将回到结婚之前的水平。

Boost your bliss: Delight in your partner’s good news. According to Lyubomirsky, “the closest, most intimate, and most trusting relationships appear to be distinguished not by how partners respond to each other’s disappointments, but how they react to the good news.” When your husband shares that he’s getting promoted, reacting with joy and asking enthusiastic questions signals that you care. Being silently supportive or pointing out downsides (“Oh, you’ll have to work on weekends?”) undermines happiness.
提升幸福度：为伴侣的好消息感到高兴。Lyubomirsky说“最亲密最紧密和信任度最高的关系，绝对不是靠伴侣间对对方失落时的回应体现出来的，而是他们对对方好消息时的态度。” 如果你丈夫说他升职了，不妨表现出你的喜悦，多问一下热情的问题表现出你的关心吧。沉默的回应或是指出不好的那一面（啊，那你岂不是周末要加班）只会降低幸福感。

Myth: Your “dream job” will make you happier at work than you currently are.
传说：你梦想的工作会让你在工作时比现在更开心

Science says: You adapt to all new experiences, and so any joy from a new work environment will likely fade with time. If you've gained responsibility, your expectations and aspirations will increase too, which can detract from happiness. One classic study tracked job satisfaction before and after a voluntary job change among high-level managers whose average salary was $135,000. Researchers found that managers experienced a burst of happiness right after the new job, but within a year, satisfaction plummeted to their pre-move levels.
科学表明：你已经适应了新环境，所以很多新环境带来的快乐也逐渐随着时间消失。如果你有足够的责任心，你的期望和雄心也会增加，这会减少幸福感。曾有一个经典研究，对平均薪资达到13万五千美金的高层经理人在换到心仪工作前后的满意度做过调查，结果发现刚换工作时他们的幸福感会爆棚，一年之后，就会降低到跳槽前的水平了。

Boost your bliss: To avoid taking a new job for granted, Lyubomirsky advises “re-experiencing” what it was you didn’t like about your previous work. If you used to make a lot less money, spend one week a month living on your old salary. If you worked nights, periodically make yourself stay at work late. Mentally transporting yourself to where you didn't want to be will help you find more happiness in your current role.
提高幸福度：不要把新工作当做理所当然，Lyubomirsky建议“不妨重新体验”你对之前工作不满的地方。如果你以前赚的比较少，那么就花一周时间花光原来的月薪。如果你总是加班很晚，那就定期让自己加会班。这种有意识的强迫自己做自己不想做的事情，可以帮助你在现任工作中找到更多的幸福。