说话是门艺术: 不要对别人说的6句话

What they hear: “It’s easy for most people. If you have trouble doing it, there is probably something wrong about you”
他们听到的是：“这对大部分人来说都很简单，如果你觉得难，那就是你有问题了。”

The level of difficulty is perceived differently by everyone, and everyone has their own Everest. If you’re telling somebody that their job is easy, then you’re undermining their contribution to society and you’re telling them they don’t deserve the salary they have.
难度标准对于每个人而言是不一样的，每个人都有自己珠穆朗玛峰。如果你告诉别人他们的工作很简单，其实无形中你在低估他们对社会的贡献，你就是在告诉他们不配拿到那么高的工资。

If someone is struggling and coming for help, then they have trust you enough to show you their weakness. Don’t rub their face in it by saying “This should be easy”.
如果有人遇到问题需要帮助，他们正是因为信任你才会向你展现出自己的弱点。别再说”这不难啊“这样的话啦，跟扇他们耳光没啥区别。

Acknowledge the challenges that people encounter and value their commitment to overcome them.
了解人们面对的挑战，根据他们的能力帮助他们去克服。

5. “I told you so”
“我早就告诉过你了”

What they hear: “You did not listen to me. That’s all your fault. I’m so much better than you.”
他们听到的是：“你不听我的，都是你的错，我比你优秀多了。”

This one is a common no-no. It’s useless to shoot a dead horse, especially when other person needs your help more than ever. Don’t keep tabs on who’s right and who’s wrong. If it were a competition, the one keeping tabs would be the one losing.
这句话真心不要说。马后炮真的一点意义都没有，尤其是别人无比需要你的帮助的时候。不要再去纠结于谁是对的谁是错的。如果有个比赛，那个总是纠结的人绝对是输家。

Help the other person, and don’t add insult to injury.
帮助别人，不要再在别人的伤口上撒盐。

6. “As I just said before…”
“就像我之前说过的”

What they hear: “You don’t listen to me. You’re making me repeat myself. You’re so annoying and dumb.”
他们听到的是：“你不听我的，你让我重复说，多烦人多笨啊。”

This is a very sneaky conversation killer. If someone asks you a question and you point out that you’ve already answered it, then you’re killing their willingness to learn, or even to have a slight interest in what you say.
这绝对是对话杀手。如果有人问你问题，你指出已经回答过了，那么其实你已经扼杀了他们想要学习的欲望，甚至是对你话语的一丁点兴趣。

Say the same thing in another way and by illustrating it differently.
换个方式表达，这样才能与众不同一点。