在社会上如何把握拥抱礼仪的分寸

I'm not a hugger. When I see a registered personal-space invader coming my way at a party, the music from 'Jaws' plays in my head. And there are lots of people like me -- reasonably comfortable in social situations, no particular phobias, just a bit reserved in expressions of physical intimacy.
我不是个爱拥抱的人。在派对上看到习惯侵犯私人空间的人走过来时，我脑子里就会响起《大白鲨》(Jaws)的音乐。有很多人都和我一样——在社交场合挺自在，没有特别的恐惧症，只是在身体亲密行为的表达上有点保守。

For us fans of personal space, these are difficult times. America has become a hugging culture. What's an Academy Award without a gauntlet of hugs from seat to stage? Any sports win will ignite an orgy of whooping, full-body man hugs. Political empathy in tragedy is measured in hugs.
对我们这些喜欢保持一定距离的人来说，这种时候就比较难熬。美国已经成为了一个崇尚拥抱文化的国家。没有从座位到舞台的一连串拥抱能叫奥斯卡颁奖礼(Academy Award)吗？任何体育项目的获胜都会引起一阵狂欢式的全身拥抱。悲剧事件中政治同理心是通过拥抱来衡量的。

We remain a 'medium touch' culture -- more physically demonstrative than Japan, where a bow is the all-purpose hello and goodbye, but less demonstrative than Latin or Eastern European cultures, where hugs are robust and can include a kiss on both cheeks. But we do seem to be hugging more.
我们还是一个“中度接触”的文化——比日本人更喜欢用身体接触表达感情，但不如拉丁或东欧文化。在日本，鞠躬是通行的问候和告别礼节，而在拉丁和东欧国家，拥抱都很有力，还包括亲吻两边的脸颊。但我们确实似乎拥抱得越来越多了。

For men, this is newly slippery terrain. Handshakes are scripted and reliable -- a firm grip, a couple of brisk pumps, and done. There is evidence of hand-shaking as far back as the fifth century B.C. It may have started as a gesture of peace by proving that the hand held no weapon.
对男士来说，这是个新的需要谨慎对待的礼仪。握手已经约定俗成，比较可靠——握紧、轻轻摇晃两下、结束。早在公元前五世纪就有关于握手的记载，可能最早是一种表示和平的手势，是为了证明手里没有武器。

With hugging now in play, men must do rapid social calculations: body language, length and nature of the relationship, setting, alcohol effect and the other's intentions. Decisions must be made in split seconds.
如今到了流行拥抱的时候，男士们必须进行快速的社交计算：肢体语言、与对方关系的时长和性质、环境、酒精效应还有对方的意图。决定必须在一瞬间做出。

Male friends tell me that they adhere to the one-second rule (one-Mississippi and . . . break). They also favor the A-frame hug -- shoulders touching, handshake high, a couple of quick taps on the back. There is no such middle ground for women. It's either shake or hug.
男性朋友告诉我，他们坚持“一秒原则”（默念“密西西比”刚好一秒……然后结束）。他们还喜欢A字型拥抱——碰肩、高举双手相握、拍拍背。对女性来说没有这样的中间选择，要么握手要么拥抱。

Bill Clinton has perfected the hug that is not a hug: a handshake complemented by also holding the other's upper arm. Advantage -- more intense than a handshake but short of an embrace, and it can be maintained indefinitely. It can also easily progress to a full hug as the conversation dictates.
比尔·克林顿(Bill Clinton)完善了一种不算拥抱的拥抱方式：握手的同时抓住对方的上臂。好处是——比单纯的握手更热情但又不算拥抱，而且姿势可以保持很长时间。随着谈话的进展还可以很容易发展成全身拥抱。

When we expand our exploration to the man-woman hug, things get dicey. Especially at work.
异性拥抱就比较危险了，尤其是在职场。

Science says that hugs are healthy: They release endorphins, strengthen the immune system, boost self-esteem and promote bonding. But they can also put a warning in your personnel file.
科学研究表明拥抱有益健康：可以释放内啡?，增强免疫系统，提升自尊，增进感情。不过同时也会让你的人事档案里出现警告。