在社会上如何把握拥抱礼仪的分寸

There are many valid reasons to hug in an office setting -- anything from a big team win to goodbyes after downsizing. But one senior executive I know shared some universal career advice: 'Don't yell, don't cry, don't hug.' His advice is backed by surveys that say that most people don't want intimacy with other workers.
在工作场合有很多拥抱的正当理由——从团队获胜到裁员告别，可拥抱的场合很多。但我认识的一位高管分享了一个通用的职场建议：“不要喊，不要哭，不要拥抱。”他的建议得到了问卷调查结果的支持，调查显示大多数人不想和同事有亲密行为。

As the question of whether or not to hug becomes more situational, the potential rises for awkward encounters. The biggest risk: going in for a hug only to realize too late that the other person had not planned the same. Expert consensus says that if you're going for the hug and it's too late to turn back, don't stop. Press on, but make it quick.
既然该不该拥抱的问题变得越来越取决于场合因素，那么会面时出现尴尬的可能性就变大了。最大的风险是：准备拥抱的时候却意识到对方并没有同样打算。专家一致认为，如果你准备拥抱，而且回头又太晚，那就不要停。抱上去，但动作要快。

For nonhuggers, there are some defensive maneuvers. Deflect: Keep something (a desk, a table, a co-worker) between you and the serial hugger until the moment passes. Deny: 'Sorry, I'm not much of a hugger.' Resist: Take physical control with a stiff handshake and firm elbow that keeps personal space intact. Escape: Find something that requires your immediate attention. If nothing comes to mind, drop your cellphone. Lie: 'I really don't want you to catch this cold I have.' Or when diversion isn't feasible and escape is impossible, accept the hug with an icy response and hope that the hugger remembers.
对不喜欢拥抱的人来说有一些防御动作。转移：让“连环拥抱者”和自己之间有个障碍物，比如桌子、茶几或者同事，直到那个时刻过去。拒绝：“对不起，我不大喜欢拥抱。”反抗：用身体控制，握手时故意保持僵硬，肘部僵硬一点，以防个人空间被入侵。逃避：寻找需要你们立即注意的事情。如果找不到的话就故意摔手机。撒谎：“我实在不想把感冒传染给你。”在没办法转移、又不可能逃避的时候，那就冷冰冰地接受拥抱并希望对方能记住教训。

Workplace hugging is particularly problematic when your workplace happens to be a school. Teachers have been told never to hug any child for any reason -- even though a hug is precisely what a child might need.
如果你是在学校上班，那么拥抱的问题就会格外棘手。学校要求老师不能以任何理由拥抱学生，即使学生需要也不行。

Many schools have also added a written policy against hugging between students, with suspensions finding their way into national news. Students and some parents are irate at bans on a simple act of affection. But feel for the school administrator, responsible for determining when a simple act of affection becomes a more complex situation.
很多学校还增加了禁止学生之间拥抱的书面规定，取消这种规定的呼声开始见诸于全美各处媒体。学生和部分家长不满学校禁止这种简单的表达情感的行为。但从校方管理人员的角度来看又情有可原，在简单的情感表达行为变成更复杂的问题时，需要做出决定的是他们。

There is always the question: Are we overthinking this? Maybe we've complicated a simple act to the point that risk has overtaken reward, and it's just not worth the effort. Some would say it's a lamentable loss of human connection. As someone who believes that we call it personal space for a reason, I'm OK with that.
总有这样一个问题：我们是不是想太多了？也许我们把一个简单的行为想得太复杂了，让风险压倒了好处，其实根本就不值得这么费尽心思去想。有人会说这是人类情感联系的可悲损失。作为一个认为私人空间很有必要的人，我表示赞同。