社交课堂：如何跟充满负能量的人打交道

4. Don’t make their problems your problems
不要把他们的问题变成你的问题

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.
虽然我认为同情心是一份礼物，但它可能很危险。当我们听见某个朋友或者家人的抱怨，我们总是和他们一起承担起了烦恼。

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.
这是一个坏习惯，尤其如果这个人总是满身负能量。这种人很可能为了博取同情而包装出一个故事。

Why else would they be sharing this with you?
否则他们为什么要和你分享这些负面的事情呢？

5. Change the subject
改变话题

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.
当你怀疑一场对话即将开始讨论负面话题，改变这个话题，赢得正能量。当然，你这样做的时候也不能忽略对方所谈论的内容。

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.
听听他们的评论，但不要等到他们开始向你抱怨而收获快乐，赶快转移话题。

6. Talk about solutions, not problems
谈论解决办法，而不是问题本身

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.
有时候，如果你想要对付那些负能量的人，改变话题行不通。但这并不意味着你就无法积极一些。

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.
我明白，当有人开始向我抱怨时，我一时不知道该说些什么。其实关键在于你可以就问题的解决办法做出回应。

You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”
你可以问一些问题，比如“那该怎么解决呢？”或者“你觉得他们怎么想？”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.
利用你的洞察力，找出一个可以帮助你的朋友解决办法的合适回应。

7. Leave them behind
别管他们

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.
很遗憾，有时候我们是在没办法理会这些朋友，尤其当你已经竭尽全力想要建立一种积极的关系。

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.
如果他是你的家人，当然你们还有关系，但你也许依然应该限制他们对你的幸福所带来的影响。