不争执不对立：正确处理同事间争执

Not all conflict is bad. When the disagreement is about things, processes, or tasks, getting into it can be quite productive. But when it becomes a personal issue with another person, it can damage your working relationship and your career.
并不是所有冲突都不好。当事情、流程或任务出现分歧时，深入讨论会很有成效。但如果是与别人的私人问题，争执会伤害你的人际关系和事业。

Even if the other party is “wrong” and you are “right” (though this is less often the case than we like to think!), your actions impact the situation… for better or for worse. For the most productive outcome, try going through the following steps before resorting to negative coping strategies:
即使对方是“错误的”，你是“正确的”（虽然这种情况发生的频率比我们想的更少），你的行动会影响事态——变得更好或者更糟。为了最有效的结果，在用消极的应对策略前尝试以下步骤：

1. Find the Positive
1. 找到积极的一面

When seething with hate or anger, it is much more likely we will cross the line, or otherwise exercise poor judgment. Get control over your emotions by thinking of good things this person has done in the past, considering why you want to maintain a good relationship in the future, and (cliche as it sounds) finding the bright side of the situation.
当怀着满腔仇恨或愤怒时，我们更有可能失去理智或者判断失误。想想这个人以前做的好事，考虑下你为什么想和他保持良好的关系，以及（听着像陈词滥调）找到事情积极的方面，这样能控制住你的情绪。

2. Stop Enabling
2. 不要让别人改变

Many times we find ourselves in the midst of a conflict when we dislike the way another person has behaved habitually. But relationships are dynamic — we behave differently when interacting with different people. To break a cycle of ineffective interactions, find a way to do things a little differently next time from your side of the relationship.
很多时候争执是发生在我们不喜欢别人行为习惯的时候。但是人际关系是动态的——我们与不同的人交流时有不同的表现。为打破无效互动的恶性循环，下次交流时自己想办法做些改变。

3. Shift Your Perspective
3. 转变你的视角

Step outside of your head and look at the situation from their perspective. Look at things from a diverse point of view, focusing on the point of view of people whom you respect. How would each of them think about the problem you are experiencing? Thinking creatively will improve your chances of making a good decision.
跳出自己的思维模式，从他人的角度看问题。从不同的角度看待事物，关注你所尊敬的人的观点。他们会如何思考你正在经历的问题？创造性思维将增加你做出好决定的机会。