当今时代父母有说"不"的权力吗

I grew up in an affluent area. Most kids owned multiple Cabbage Patch dolls and Gear bags and pairs of Jordache jeans (not to mention the beloved Atari 2600). I certainly had enough, but it felt like all of my peers possessed more. I wanted Benetton sweaters and a cool bike. I wanted to take trips to Mexico over Christmas break and come back with a bronze tan. I wanted to impress people with a fancy car, not the red Datsun 510 parked in our driveway.
我在富人区长大，那里的孩子差不多都有好几个椰菜娃娃、好几个户外装备包和好几条Jordache牌子的牛仔裤（更不用说让人爱不释手的雅达利2600游戏机了）。我的东西当然不算少，但我还是觉得别的孩子比我东西多。我想要一件贝纳通毛衣和一辆很酷的自行车，我想在圣诞节去墨西哥玩，把全身晒成古铜色。我还想要一辆惊艳四邻的炫酷轿车，而不是停在我家车道上的那辆红色Datsun 510。

As I got older, I didn't merely crave material items-I wanted freedom. On weekends, my friends' parents left them alone in their apartments while they went elsewhere. I was never left unattended until I went to college. My friends had no curfew. I had to be home by midnight. Plus, my mom watched me like a hawk.
随着年龄渐长，我就不再只追求物质上的东西，我还想要自由。我的朋友们每到周末就有机会在父母外出的时候单独在家，可我在上大学以前从没有“独守空房”的时候。我的朋友多晚回家都没事，我必须在晚上12点前到家，还有，我妈妈看管我像看管犯人一样。

As a teenager, I felt humiliated, uncool, and angry. Why couldn't my mom just be like the other parents? In my world, one was popular if she had the right haircut and could stay out late. My mom, however, refused to budge. She stuck to her guns, and I begrudged her throughout my adolescence.
我那时候青春年少，觉得自己没面子，是个土妞，我感到很生气。为什么我妈就不能像别人父母那样呢？在我眼里，如果一个女孩子发型正点，能在外面待到很晚才回家，她就会很受欢迎。但我妈在这点上拒绝让步，不容半点讨价还价的余地，这让我在整个青春期都十分记恨她。

Fast-forward some 25 years. Now I'm the parent and I get to decide the rules. Do I buy Uggs for my preschooler? Should my fifth grader get the new iPhone 5? Will I allow my daughter to walk home from school with the other kids? Is she old enough to roam the mall solo?
看看25年后的我，有了自己的孩子，成了定规矩的人了。我会给没上学的孩子买Ugg雪地靴吗？我会给上五年级的孩子买新款iPhone 5吗？我会让自己女儿和其他同学一起从学校走回家吗？她到了可以独自一人逛商场的年龄了吗？

It isn't especially hard for my husband and I to decide what we think are the right choices for our children. No, the challenge is having to deal with the unhappy child when he/she doesn't get what he/she wants, especially when the other kids do.
我和丈夫都觉得，让我们决定哪些事情孩子该做，哪些不该做，这不太难。难就难在自己孩子想要的东西得不到，别的孩子却能得到，孩子不高兴了怎么办？

As a parent, this battle has been going on a long time. In her pre-school class, several of my daughter's little friends wore Ugg boots. When I got a hand-me-down knock-off pair, my daughter turned up her nose. 'These aren't Uggs, ' she snapped. '
为人父母的我们很早就遇到了这种情况。在女儿上学前，她的几个幼儿园小朋友都穿着Ugg的靴子。当我拿回家一双山寨版的旧靴子时，女儿十分不屑，恼怒地说：这不是Ugg的鞋。

'Huh?' I said.
我很诧异：啊？

Her response floored me. 'Real Uggs have the name on the back. The kids in school told me mine aren't real.'
她的回答让我不知所措。女儿说：真的Ugg商标是在鞋后面，小朋友都说我的鞋是假的。

This was hardly an aberration. Were I to record a montage of my children's responses after hearing the word 'No, ' it would sound something like this: 'But why can't we watch YouTube videos? Why can't I have a cell phone? Why can't I have my fifth dessert? Why can't we drink soda, have a video game, stay up later, join the country club, ... ' Inevitably the response to my retort is, 'But all the other kids are allowed.'
这种情况简直司空见惯。如果把孩子在听到我和丈夫说“不”之后的反应记录下来，拼在一起，那听起来应该是这样的：为什么我们不能在YouTube上看视频？为什么我不能有手机？为什么我不能吃第五个甜点？为什么不能喝汽水？为什么不能玩视频游戏？为什么不能晚睡？为什么不能加入乡村俱乐部？等等等等。我一解释，他们肯定又会说：那怎么别的孩子就可以？