当今时代父母有说"不"的权力吗

When my kids were young, it was a manageable backlash. But now, as they age, the pressure to fit in grows exponentially and so does the parenting pressure. Sometimes I just want to take the easy route. I want to give in. Parenting is exhausting and why fight the little stuff? But then I realize, not being able to stand my ground on soda will make it so much harder to hang tough about the bigger issues like Internet safety and dating.
孩子小的时候，虽然他们不乐意，做父母的还能管得了。可随着孩子慢慢长大，与他们融洽相处的难度明显增加，教育子女的压力也加大了。有时候我想，怎么省事怎么来吧，由他们去吧，做父母本来就让人筋疲力尽，干嘛为这点小事吵架？可每到这时候我就意识到，汽水事小，原则事大，如果在汽水问题上不能坚持原则，以后碰到网络安全和约会这种大事情，岂不是更难要求孩子了？

Although I couldn't see it as a child, I now realize how amazing my mom was all those years ago. She knew what she thought was best and she didn't care if I hated her for it. That's strong parenting.
虽然自己小的时候不能明白其中的道理，但现在我知道了，我妈当年真够牛的。她知道什么对我最好，根本不在乎我恨不恨她，这是虎妈式的教育。

My childhood disappointments and restrictions actually taught me valuable life lessons that I am trying to pass on to my kids.
童年时的种种失意和约束实际上是我人生的宝贵课程，现在我要把这一课传授给我的孩子。

Not getting every fad item taught me to work to afford what I wanted. I also learned to budget my money. Often once my mom said no, I realized I didn't really want the item that badly. As an adult, I still don't need a lot of 'in' things. I much prefer to save my money for something I really want or need.
当我得不到自己想要的时髦物件，我就知道必须为此努力工作。我还学会了给自己理财。很多时候，只要妈妈说不，我就会发现自己其实并不那么想要那件东西。长大成人后，我依然不需要那么多“入时”的玩意儿，我更愿意攒钱买自己确实想要或需要的东西。

I learned that even though some kids had all the stuff and freedoms I craved, they came at a price. People sometimes make poor choices with money. They buy things they can't really afford and run up large debts so they can fit in.
我还知道，即便一些小伙伴拥有我当时梦寐以求的所有东西和自由，那也是付出代价的。手上有了钱，人们有时会做出不明智的选择，购买超出自己承受能力的东西，让自己债台高筑。

Lastly, I learned that having every desired item doesn't me one happy. There are other ways for me to be fulfilled. I am gratified by working, helping a neighbor, being a good friend, cooking, drawing with chalk in the driveway, and playing the piano beside my daughter. I think this kind of happiness was learned in childhood.
最后我还明白了一点，一个人拥有了所有渴求的东西，并不一定快乐。有很多别的事情会让我感觉充实。我努力工作，帮邻居的忙，对朋友有情有义，烹饪美食，用粉笔在自家车库前的空地上画画，坐在女儿身旁弹钢琴，这些都让我很开心。我觉得这种开心与我小时候的家庭教育是分不开的。

The peer pressure your child encounters in school to have the 'in' item or the latest technology or the most freedom turns into parenting peer pressure. What is hardest for me is that I know how my children will feel when I say no. It hurts. They won't understand it. They will be angry and will direct that at me.
当你的孩子在学校里和人攀比时髦商品、最新的电子产品或是最大的自由空间时，孩子会感受到来自同龄人的压力，这种压力又会转移到父母身上。对我来说，最难的是我知道自己说“不”之后孩子心里的感受，这会让我难过。孩子不会理解，他们会生气，会把气撒在我身上。

I just have to remind myself that sometimes the best lessons are the most painful.
我只能提醒自己，有时候，最宝贵的经验是用最痛苦的经历换来的。