万万没想到：职场人见人爱只要六招

Ask them about something positive in their life. Only after they reply should you ask them how they're feeling about life in general.Sounds silly, but this method is based on research by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman.A positive answer on the first question will lead to them feeling more positive about their life in general when you ask the second question:
询问他人生活中积极的东西，在他们回答后再询问他们对于生活什么看法。这个方法是基于诺贝尔奖心理学家丹尼尔·卡内曼的研究。对于第一个问题的积极回答会引导人们在回答第二个问题的时候也感到积极：

The same pattern is found if a question about the students' relations with their parents or about their finances immediately precedes the question about general happiness. In both cases, satisfaction in the particular domain dominates happiness reports. Any emotionally significant question that alters a person's mood will have the same effect.
同样的模式也表现在询问学生和父母的关系或者经济情况如何。在这两个例子里，报告显示满意度在特定领域会主宰幸福，任何情感上的重大问题对于改变一个人的情绪都有着同样的作用。

5. Repeat the last three words
5. 重复最后三个词

Active listening has incredible power, and hostage negotiators use it to build rapport. What's the quick and dirty way to do active listening without training? Social skills expert and author Leil Lowndes recommends simple repetition: "…simply repeat — or parrot — the last two or three words your companion said, in a sympathetic, questioning tone. That throws the conversational ball right back in your partner's court."
积极的倾听具有不可思议的力量，人质谈判人员用它来建立融洽的关系。未经过培训有什么快速直接的方法积极的倾听吗？社交技能专家和作家 莱·朗兹推荐的是简单的重复，简单的重复或者鹦鹉学舌般的重复你的小伙伴说的最后两个或者三个字，使用一种同情或者质疑的语气。这样会把对话重新丢会到你的小伙伴那边。

It shows you're listening and interested, and it lets them get back to telling their story. You've got to be slightly savvy about this one, but it's surprisingly effective.
这样显示你在听，而且你很感兴趣，也会让你的小伙伴有兴致把接下来的故事说完。使用这个方法的时候你需要稍微精明点，但是效果很好。

6. Gossip — but positively
6. 积极八卦

Research shows what you say about others colors how people see you. Compliment other people, and you're likely to be seen positively. Complain, and you're likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate:
研究显示你如何评论他人，也会影响让人如何评价你。赞美他人，你留下的也许是个积极的印象。而抱怨，会把你和这些不好的负面的影响都联系起来。

When you gossip about another person, listeners unconsciously associate you with the characteristics you are describing, ultimately leading to those characteristics' being "transferred" to you. So, say positive and pleasant things about friends and colleagues, and you are seen as a nice person. In contrast, constantly complain about their failings, and people will unconsciously apply the negative traits and incompetence to you.
当你说别人的八卦的时候，听者会无意识的把你和你所描述的性格联系起来，最终导致这些不好的人格转移到你的身上。所以尽量讨论同事朋友积极愉快的事情，你看上去就会使个很好的人。相反的话，经常抱怨他人的失败，他人也会无意识的把这些失败和你联系起来。