如何让自己的性格变得越来越好

A few years ago, Brandon Green was sitting on the couch, brooding over a small mistake he'd made at work and the likely consequences. His roommate walked in and began telling him about something funny that happened to him that day. Mr. Green didn't chuckle or even smile. He scowled and said nothing.
几年前的一天，布兰登·格林(Brandon Green)坐在沙发上，琢磨着他在工作中犯的一个小错和可能酿成的后果。这时格林的室友走进来，开始跟他讲那天他遇到的趣事。但格林并没有笑出声来，甚至连微笑也没有。他只是皱着眉头，一言不发。

That's when his roommate offered Mr. Green some valuable analysis: 'Never mind,' he said. 'You're just not a happy person.'
Rachel Aranda 格林当时格林的室友对他做了一番很有价值的分析。他说：“没关系，你不笑只是因为你不是一个快乐的人。”

'Something happened to me in that moment,' says Mr. Green, a 29-year-old Web analyst from Los Angeles. 'I realized I could continue blaming the world, as I had been, or I could try something different.'
29岁的格林来自洛杉矶，是一名网络分析师，他说：“当时我悟到了些什么。我意识到自己可以继续像从前那样怨天尤人，也可以尝试做些改变。”

Is it possible to significantly alter your personality? Experts say you can -- but it isn't easy.
人的性格有没有可能明显改变？专家说可以——只是很难。

Several large research studies conducted over the past few years show that a person's personality naturally changes over the course of adulthood, in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in a career.
过去几年展开的几项大型研究显示，受生活事件影响（比如形成稳定的恋爱关系或者在职业生涯中取得进展），人的性格会在成年的过程中自然地发生变化。

From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits, such as conscientiousness, and decreases in negative traits, such as neuroticism. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable -- in other words, their personalities improve. Psychologists call it the Maturity Principle.
图表：随年龄变化的性格特征从20岁到65岁，责任性等正面性格特征会增强，而神经质等负面性格特征则会减弱。大多数人往往会变得更随和，更有责任感，情绪也更稳定——换句话说就是，他们的性格会变好。心理学家将这种现象称为“成熟定律”(Maturity Principle)。

Researchers have also long known that friendly, outgoing, responsible people tend to be happier than shy, irresponsible, unsociable people. But in a new twist with lots of ramifications for therapists, researchers have learned that being happy to begin with may help change your personality.
研究人员很早以前就发现，友善、开朗、有责任感的人往往比害羞、没有责任感和不爱交际的人更快乐。但一项新的研究显示，保持快乐的心情也许有助于改变你的性格，这项新突破可能会对心理治疗师产生诸多影响。

A study published online in January in the Journal of Personality analyzed personality and well-being data from more than 16,000 Australians who were surveyed repeatedly between 2005 and 2009. The researchers found people who were happy in 2005 tended to become more emotionally stable, more conscientious, more agreeable and -- perhaps most intriguingly -- more introverted over the next four years.
今年1月份刊登在《人格研究杂志》(Journal of Personality)网络版上的一项研究对逾16,000名澳大利亚人的性格和幸福感数据进行了分析，这些研究对象在2005年到2009年期间接受了多次调查。研究者发现，2005年感到快乐的人在接下来的四年里情绪往往变得更稳定，更有责任感，更随和，另外最有意思的一点也许是，他们还变得更加内敛。

When researchers talk about 'personality,' they mean a 'characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,' says Christopher Soto, a research psychologist and director of the Colby Personality Lab at Colby University in Waterville, Maine, who was the researcher on the happiness study. Personality is about 50% innate and 50% learned, he says.
五步改变你的性格专家们表示，改变性格与减肥很像。要想有所改变，就需要有意识地坚持一些行为，让它们最终形成习惯。这一过程可能痛苦而尴尬，但却是心理成熟的必由之路。1. 弄清楚改变哪些性格特征对你最有利。在你的职业生涯或个人生活中，是否存在一种冲突模式或负面反馈？2.尝试领悟你在这种模式中所扮演的角色，从你自己的行为着手。辨别在你看来给你造成最多麻烦的行为，并努力改变这种行为。3.从一点一滴做起。改变始于一个行为，因此，先驾驭一项行为，再尝试改变另一项行为。别指望能在一天、一周、一个月甚至一年之内彻底改变你的性格。4.持之以恒。回顾你的取得的进展，为自己提供积极的心理强化。有一些退步是很正常的。如果出现一些小问题，不要过分纠结于此。继续为你的目标而努力就好。5. 在你的新行为形成习惯之后，再找出一个新的、更重要的领域进行改进。缅因州沃特维尔(Waterville)科尔比学院(Colby College)心理学研究员、科尔比人格实验室(Colby Personality Lab)负责人克里斯托弗·索托(Christopher Soto)参与了这项有关幸福感的研究，他表示，研究人员所说的“性格”是指“在不同时间和场合下始终保持一致的思维、感觉和行为特征模式”。他说，性格50%是天生的，50%取决于后天。

According to the Big Five personality model, developed by several sets of researchers starting in the 1940s, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains -- openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion (also spelled extraversion).
根据大五性格模型(Big Five personality model)，人的性格可划分为五大类别或范畴，分别是开放性、尽责性、亲和性、神经质和外向性。该模型是几批研究者从上世纪40年代开始建立起来的。

Within each category are specific traits and behaviors. Extroversion, for example, encompasses traits such as gregariousness and warmth. Neuroticism includes anger, anxiety and vulnerability.
每大类别中都包括一些特征和特定行为。比方说，外向性中包括合群和热情等特征。神经质中则包括愤怒、焦虑和脆弱。

Some personality types are more successful than others, experts say. People who are more conscientious tend to do better in the workplace and school, Dr. Soto says. People who score high on agreeableness and low on neuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social and entrepreneurial occupations.
专家们称，一些性格类型的人会比其他人更成功。索托博士说，比较尽责的人在职场和学校里往往表现更出色。亲和度高、情绪稳定的人往往拥有更满意、更稳定的恋爱关系。外向型者则更擅长从事人际交往和创业方面的工作。

Good news/bad news: Even small changes in a person's personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness, Dr. Soto says. But because personality characteristics are, by definition, relatively stable, change takes time.
索托博士说，人的性格哪怕只出现稍许变化，也会对感情、职业、健康和幸福产生重大影响。这个消息可谓是喜忧参半。但由于性格特征从本质上来说是比较稳定的，改变起来会需要很长时间。

'You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,' Dr. Soto says. Work with a therapist and you could see lasting changes in a matter of months, he says. You can learn to manage your personality traits on your own, too. It just takes longer.
索托说：“你应该从改变行为做起，接下来，如果你能长期保持这种新行为，这种行为就会被锁定下来。”他说，如果能获得心理治疗师的指导，你可以在几个月之内看到持续的变化。你也可以学着自己管理你的性格特征，只是要花费比较长的时间。