如何成为一个好室友？如何对付糟糕室友？

建立基本规则

Now that we’ve reviewed what it means to respect each other, you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. It may sound a little Type-A personality, but it’s really just better to set up what each of your pet peeves are before the year gets rolling. For instance, I really don’t like it when people have phone conversations in the room while I’m studying. I don’t multitask very well, and I’d rather be writing my paper on Roman gladiators than listening to you tell your best friend about your raging weekend. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go:

我们评论了相互尊重意味着什么，你和室友可能也建立了某些基本规则。这可能听起来有点A型人格，但是在过起日子前确实弄清你们的小癖好是什么。比如，我不喜欢别人在我学习时讲电话。我不擅长处理多进程任务，我宁愿写一篇罗马格斗士的论文而不是听你向你最好的朋友讲述你的愤怒周末。这有一个清单，说明你和室友建立基本规则时所应设计的事情。

Talking on the phone – inside the room, outside the room, on the balcony, in the closet, whatever. Make a compromise, but the tie should go to the person studying.

讲电话——室内，室外，阳台，衣柜，哪里都行。学会妥协，但是限制应有学习的人决定。

Smoking – This. Is. So. Important. If you have a balcony, establish if it’s okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommate’s chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I don’t think smoking is allowed in any dorm room, but make sure to set your expectations early.

吸烟——这很重要。如果你有阳台，确定是否可以在阳台上吸烟。注意，如果你同意阳台可以吸烟，那么可能最终你朋友的一串烟友都有可能在你阳台上安营扎寨。我认为任何一间寝室都不应准许吸烟，但是确保及早设立预期。

Visitors of the intimate kind – This seriously could warrant its own post. If you have someone of special interest with you, you need to remember that the room belongs to two people. Set up a sexile system. Rubber bands on the door work, but everyone in the world knows what that means. Try a post-it note or piece of tape on the door, drawing a shape on the nametags on your door, or some other symbol that will clue in your roommate that they probably do not want to walk into the room. Include a time limit! Really, it shouldn’t be longer than an hour. If you need more time, well, you know, I can’t help you. Compromise with your roommate. If you are the sexilee, be patient. College is an exciting, hormonal time and your roommate will sometimes (or very often) put his/her libido ahead of your convenience. Find comfort in the fact that they’ll have to offer you the same consideration when you get your chance of love. Additionally, check with your roommate if they’re comfortable with your lover spending the night if this proves to be the case. If they’re not, respect their wishes.

亲密爱人之类的访客——严肃点，这个问题理应有一席之地。如果有人对你爱欲迸发，记住房间属于两个人。建立性爱通知制度。在门上绑上个橡胶带会起作用，但地球人都知道意思是什么。试试便利贴或胶带，在门上名签画个身体，或者其他什么标志，只要能给你室友暗示，不希望他们进入房间。还要考虑时间限制，不应超过一个小时。如果需要更长时间，好吧，那我帮不了你了。和室友妥协。如果别人做爱你待在外，耐心点。大学生活很精彩，荷尔蒙汹涌，比起你的方便，室友有时（或常常）更多考虑他的力比多。令你安慰的是，当你也有了爱爱的机会，他们会给予你同样的体谅。此外，和室友确认下，如果你爱人在寝室过夜，他们是否感到不适。如果是的，尊重他们的感受。

Cleaning – Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash, tidying the room, buying toilet paper, and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

打扫卫生——商议打扫卫生的职责，明确各自负责的工作。划分清洁责任会保持房间更整洁，如果双放都参与进来，紧张关系也会得到缓和。拿走垃圾，打扫房间，购买厕纸，清洗洗手池，都是需要考虑的一些事情。

When All Else Fails…

如果所有都不奏效……

Sometimes, no matter how much you do, your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting, cleaning, and ground rules don’t get you where you want in your rooming situation, all is not lost, even if it seems like it. There’s still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.

有时，不管你做了多少，室友仍然让你抓狂。当尊重，整洁和基本规则都无法让你得到你想要的寝室状况，所有的都不管用，即便看起来如此，仍有一些破坏控制措施你可以采用。

Deal with it – There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part, the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control, remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson: “You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.”

忍着—和别人同住，总有些事情要适应。有时，接受，忍着。大多数情况下，烦扰你的都是你可以忍受一年的微小事情。如果你控制不了烦躁，记住Robert Anton Wilson的这句话：你所爱之物有多大，你就有多大；你所烦之事有多小，你就有多小。

Talk to your roommate – Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe she keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is, don’t yell and don’t accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean, the situation will get out of control, nothing will get solved, and you’ll both be angry. Also, if you’re going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them, you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

和室友谈谈。双方坐下来，针对现状中激怒你的关键所在交流一下。可能他打呼噜，可能她在你做作业的时候看电视。不管是什么，不要大吵，不要指责。镇定点，友好简洁地阐述你的现状。从大处着眼。如果你一开始吃毛求疵，小里小气，局面将会失控，什么也解决不了，两人都感到愤怒。此外，如果你打算和你室友谈谈他的问题，你要能够应对他提出的有关于你的问题。要具有弹性，愿意妥协。

Talk to your RA – Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommate’s head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However, if you’ve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate, you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable, there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

告诉导员。在和室友沟通之前，不要走这一步。越过室友是不体谅的行为。你现在长大了。你可以独力解决你的问题。如果你和室友沟通之后，两人之间的分歧依然确实很大，这时你需要引入外部第三方了。如果局面不可调和，通常过程如下：你换到另外一间寝室拥有新的室友。

Get out of your room – This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating, just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friend’s room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways, and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.

走出房间——或许这是所有方案中最简单的一招了。要是你室友正在你房间中做什么让你生气的事情，那就离开房间吧。需要学习，就去图书馆或计算机房吧。只是需要找个地方躲避，就去朋友房间吧。离开房间不管如何都是对你好的，并且有些时候远离室友将有助于避免紧张升级。