七条秘籍提升你的说服力

While many people don't like to sell, most find themselves having to persuade someone at some point. Persuasion is not just for salespeople and their prospects. You may try to persuade an employee to perform better, or perhaps you want to persuade your boss to take on your brilliant idea. Often the most effective persuaders are your kids. Somehow they come by it naturally while you, the adult, has to work hard to find the persuasive path to success. Here are 7 things that the most persuasive people consistently do:
很多人都不喜欢推销，但是有的时候不得不试图说服别人。不只有销售要说服别人拉到客户，你可能要劝员工更加卖力，或是要说服老板采纳你的建议。最会说服人的是你的孩子。然而他们不用人教，你却不容易找到成功说服别人的途径。以下七条是说服别人的金科玉律。

1. They Are Purposeful
有目的

Truly persuasive people understand their power and use it sparingly and knowingly. They understand that most conversations do not require trying to get someone to do or accept something. Aggressive pushers are a turn-off and will put most people on the defensive. It's the person who rarely asks or argues that ultimately gets consideration when they strongly advocate an idea, especially when they do it with power and persistence. Want to persuade more? Argue and advocate less often.
劝说专家明白自己的筹码，不会乱用，也不会不用。他们明白大多数谈话不需要费太多力气让对方同意或接受什么。用力过猛会引起反感，人家就不愿意听了。反而是很少要求或争辩的人极力主张什么想法，尤其是强烈且持久地主张，人家最后会考虑。想要更有说服力？平时少争辩，少主张。

2. They Listen ... and Listen ... Then Listen Some More
他们听……听……一直听

People who know how to persuade also know that just pushing your own argument will get you nowhere. They certainly are able to articulate their position in a convincing way, but that is only half the equation. They are actively listening when in persuasion mode. First, they are listening to assess how receptive you are to their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections, which they know they'll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are saying. You can't persuade effectively if you don't know the other side of the argument.
劝说专家还知道，只提你的想法是没用的。他们当然能令人信服地阐释他们的立场，但是那只是等式的一半，还要加上积极的倾听，那对劝说而言也很重要。首先，他们要听出你对他们的观点的接受程度，其次，他们要听你有什么特别的反对意见而他们必须要改进的，最后，他们要听一致的部分，哪怕只有一点点也好加以利用，达成共识。特别善于说服别人的人总是在听你说，而不是听自己喋喋不休，他们知道自己在说什么。知己知彼才能百战不殆。

3. They Create a Connection
他们建立联系

It's easy to dismiss people who are trying to persuade you if you have no emotional stake in them or their argument. Really persuasive people know this, so they will be likeable and look for common ground to help establish emotional bonds and shared objectives. They show empathy for your position and make it known that they are on your side. They manage their impatience and wait for you to give them permission to advocate their approach. You'll persuade people much more easily if they are open and aligned with your desires.
如果别人对你或是你的论点没有感情分，你会很容易驳回他。劝说专家知道这一点，所以他们会讨你喜欢，寻找共同之处，好建立感情纽带和共同的目标。他们对你的处境感同身受，让你觉得他们支持你。他们尽量耐心，等待你允许他们提出主张。如果对方愿意和你谈并且和你的利益相一致，那么你要说服人家就容易很多。