针对女性树立自信心的六条建议

Think Less, Act More: 6 Confidence Boosters for Women
少空想，多做事：针对女性树立自信心的六条建议

Journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, the authors of a new book on self-assurance, on how we can all boost our confidence.
记者凯蒂·卡伊和克莱尔·席普曼在她们合着的新书中写到了自我肯定以及增强信心的方法。

It’s an ingredient essential for success, but confidence can be maddeningly elusive. In part, perhaps, because it is misunderstood. Confidence doesn’t, for example, have to look Mad Men macho. It’s not about speaking first or loudest. And faking it actually makes you less self-assured. It’s also not all in your mind, or about “feeling good.” Telling yourself you are great doesn’t make you confident. Confidence, we have learned, is about action, and it is created by doing, and by work. Confidence can also look different for women. A handful of powerful and accomplished women let us in on their often surprising confidence boosters.
自信心是成功必不可少的因素之一，然而它又是如此不可捉摸让人恼火。或许，从某种程度上说，这是因为它被误解了，自信并不意味着，比如，必须看起来有着《广告狂人》中的那种的男子汉气概。它也不意味着你得抢着第一个说话或者说话特别大声。假装自信事实上会让你对自我更不确信。它并不是你心中胸有成竹的东西，或者是什么“感觉良好”的东西。在那里告诉自己有多伟大并不能使自己变得更有自信。我们已经知道，自信，与行动有关，自信是由实际行动和个人努力所塑就的。对于女性而言，自信心也可能意味着一些不同的东西。一些成熟而强势的女性们向我们介绍了她们自己树立信心的方法——尽管这些方法常常出人意料。

Dare the difference
敢于与众不同

For IMF boss Christine Lagarde, authenticity is the cornerstone of confidence. She is unequivocal that women must not sacrifice what makes them unique in the pursuit of power. She happily pokes fun at men who interrupt to make their points. Women can and should drive a civilized conversation, she contends. It is more natural, and powerful. At the moment she’s busy urging a new female leader of a third world country, who is intent on cutting her nation’s costs, to stick with her plan for a vastly reduced motorcade size. Advisors have told her she will look less powerful—that she should keep the huge fleet of cars. Au contraire, Legarde told her—dare to be different. And make a virtue of it. And each time this new leader takes authentic steps like that, her confidence will grow.
对于IMF的老板克里斯丁·拉加德来说，真实乃是自信的基础。她明确表示在追逐权力的道路上，女性们不该牺牲让自己显得独特的东西。她喜欢取笑那些打断别人以表达自己观点的男人们，并坚信女性可以并且应当推动一场文明的对话。这样更自然，也更有力。有一次她强烈建议一个想要减少国内开支的第三世界国家女性领导人坚持自己大规模削减车队规模的计划。她的顾问告诉她这样可能会让她看起来缺少权威，所以保留车队的规模是十分必要的。而拉加德的建议却恰恰相反，她告诉这位领导人，要敢于与众不同，并将这种劣势转为自己的优势。每当这位领导人采取像这样的措施时，都变得更加自信。

Don’t aim to please—aim for respect
不要试图讨好他人，而要赢得他人的尊重

Being different is, to some extent, part of the story of every highly successful woman. Linda Hudson, the CEO of BAE for the past four years, and first woman head a major defense company, grew up very comfortable being unique. She always played with the boys, and was one of the few women in her engineering program in college. Her most conscientious confidence habit is one that makes many women uncomfortable. She long ago decided she would stop worrying about being liked. She turned her focus toward earning respect. She told us it makes tough decisions easier. She may hurt some feelings in the short run but in the long run, she is earning something valuable.
从某种程度上说，与众不同，是每一个取得巨大成功的女性背后故事的一部分。琳达·哈德森，作为CEO执掌BAE四年之久，她也是第一个主要军火公司的女性掌门人，她的成长经历自然与众不同。她总是和男孩子玩在一起，而且也是大学工程计划中极少数的女性之一。关于自信，她有个奉行最彻底的习惯，然而这一习惯却令许多女性感到不自在。她很久以前她就决定不再为自己是否讨人喜欢而庸人自扰，而是去努力赢得他人的尊重。她告诉我们，这样的想法使得一些原本困难的决定变得简单。也许在短期来看她会伤害一些人的感情，但是从长远来看，她将得到更宝贵的东西。

Make up your mind—even if you make a mistake下定决心——即使这是错误的决定

Not all risk-taking involves big, life-changing actions. And while confidence is centered on taking action, it’s important to remember that often action is about small-scale, everyday decision-making. Speedy decisions can be a confidence crucible for women, who usually want to get everything “right.” Beth Wilkinson, one of the most sought-after litigators in the country, is a consummate risk-taker, and one of the most confident women we know. She is an expert “decider.” She learned early on that making the basic decisions quickly, and moving on, not only taught her to learn from failure but also left her mental freedom to think more clearly about the biggest issues. She admits, laughing, that she’s become addicted to quick decision-making. “There’s fall out. I get things wrong, but I usually learn from it,” she shrugs.

并不是每一次的冒险都会影响巨大、改变人生。当你将信心集中于采取行动时，你得记住这些行动常常只是一些细小且日常的决策，这一点十分重要。快速决策对于女性的自信心来说可能是一场严酷的考验，对于那些总想确保万无一失的人来说尤是如此。美国最炙手可热的律师贝斯·威尔金森，可能是我们所知的最自信的女性之一，作为一个完美的“冒险者”，她在做决策的方面堪称专家。她很早就知道如何迅速作出基本的决定，以及如何继续勇往直前，这不仅教会了她如何在失败中吸取教训，还给了她自主思考的空间，将一些重大问题梳理得更清楚。她笑着承认，她已经对这种迅速决定的方式上瘾了。“有时候我也会和别人争执。我也会把事情搞砸，但是我也常常从中能学到东西。”她耸耸肩说道。