9件被忽略的日常小事会导致婚姻危机

Everyone knows that marriage takes work. That's obvious. But a huge misconception is that only BIG things will derail your marriage: infidelity, addiction, adultery, etc. Quite often, you don't see the little things chip, chip, chipping away at you once-solid relationship foundations when in reality, it's those tiny things that eventually erode your relationship from within - without you even realizing it! - until years of petty resentments finally explode. Here's a few tiny earthquakes to watch out for:
每个人都知道婚姻需要营造。这是事实。但大家都有一个误区，以为只有大事才会破坏婚姻：不忠，沉迷，等等。很多时候，是琐碎的小事削弱着你们本是牢固的关系，这些小事在你们似懂非懂的地方腐蚀掉你们的爱情，——直到很多年后，矛盾最终爆发。下面是几个你需要提防的地方：

1. Not really talking

1. 没有真心讨论

Wake-up call: Passing each other in the hallway and mumbling something about someone taking out the trash is not talking. If you don't spend quality time talking about your lives - really, truly, deeply talking about your lives, beyond the small talk and trivialties - you aren't connecting. And if you're not connecting, you're growing apart. Simple as that.
起床时间：在走廊里擦肩而过，喃喃的说着该有人去倒垃圾了。如果你们不在黄金时间谈论你们的生活——真实地，真正地，深刻地，谈论你们的生活，而不是那些无聊的琐事——你们将不会交心。然后，如果你们不能交心，你们的关系会越来越疏远。就这么简单。

2. Farting in front of each other

2. 在对方面前放屁

You think I'm kidding? When you get the stage where you cut your toenails in front of him, can easily braid the hair on your legs, would need hedge-trimmers to clip through your public hair and think nothing of breaking wind loudly in front of him, you have long passed the comfortable stage. You've now reached the ‘roommate' stage. Romance only dies when you let it. You need to keep the mystery alive and one way to do that is by closing the bathroom door. Knowing everything about another person, including their bowel habits, is not healthy. Get some mystery back into your relationship, STAT.
你以为我在逗你？当你在他面前剪脚趾甲，当你给自己大腿间的阴毛整形，你可能还需要一些设备来修剪它们，你也从不在乎在他面前大声放屁，这些都说明你们的生活已经安逸太久了。你们现在进入了"室友模式"。浪漫总是在随性中丧失殆尽。你需要保持一些神秘感，比如关上洗手间的门。过于了解一个人，甚至包括他们排便的习惯，是有害的。还是给你们的关系多点神秘感吧。

3. Re-stacking a dishwasher after he's stacked it

3. 在他整理完碗碟后重新整理一遍

We know you have good intentions (and that you just want the job to be done right), but when you do this, you're undermining your husband. He'll interpret this behavior as you thinking he can't do anything or that everything always has to be your way. Also, if you continue to "re-do" all his attempts at housework, I assure you, he'll stop helping altogether.
我知道你的意图是好的（你只是想把工作作的更好），但是，当你这么做的时候，你正在伤害你的丈夫。他会把你的行为解释为，你认为他什么也做不好，或者，任何事都要按你的方式做。而且，如果你不断的重做他做完的家务活，我敢保证，他再也不会帮助你了。

4. Spending more time on the Internet than you do with each other

4. 上网的时间比你们在一起的时间还多

Who gives a flying f*ck what Henry De whurst is doing since you left high school? Does it matter that he's sailed around the world and now runs XYZ business in NYC? Nope. Hint: It's not normal to spend more time looking at wedding photos of a wed ng you weren't invited to than you do with your family. So if you're spending more of your life talking t o people you used to know or even worse, have never met, than hanging with your spouse, what pray tell a e you doing?! Ban iphones and technology from the bedroom (we know, it.s hard) and watch your sex life (£ nd marriage!) miraculously improve.
是谁让你在你高中毕业后做那些Henry Dewhurst正在做的事倩？过去他环游世界 ,现茌却只在纽约敲着XYZ ,真的没问题吗？不，很有问题。暗示：花费大量时间浏览那些你没有参加的婚礼的照片而不是与家人在一起一点都不好。所以，如果你同那些你过去不认识,甚至从未见过的人交谈所花费的时间超过与自己的另一半在一起的时间,你需要做点什么?从床上_iphone和电子产品（我知道，很难）,然后看着你的性伙伴(或者另一半 ),都会改善。

5. Canceling date night over and over again

5. 一次又一次的取消夜晚约会

Yup, we all have deadlines. We all have draconian bosses breathing down our necks - and yes, there will always be good reason to cancel date night - especially if the sitter lets you down again. But do so at your peril because postponing one-on-one time is symbolic of where your marriage is in your list of priorities. If you'd rather attend a Zumba class than have a glass of wine with your husband, that's a red flag. Your relationship is sacred; treat it as such.
是的，我们都没有时间。我们都有严厉的老板勒紧我们的脖子——是的，这是取消约会的最好借口——尤其，当模特让你失望的时候。但是，这很危险，因为推迟一对一约会是一个信号：你们的婚姻在生命中所处的优先权。如果你参加尊巴舞训练班比与你的丈夫一起干杯更优先，这就是红色警报，你们的关系已经危险了。想办法拯救吧。