9件被忽略的日常小事会导致婚姻危机

6. 对孩子的关注比对他的关注多太多

How many moms do you know who shower their kids with affection and give their husbands a quick pat on the back when he swoops in for a kiss? Remembering to stop and give each other actual physical affection - not just a requisite peck on the cheek - is the sign of a healthy relationship. When you spend day in/day out with someone, it's easy to neglect them. The mundane goings-on of daily life take precedent and by the time you get the kids to bed and collapse on the sofa, showing any kind of affection feels like an extra chore. But here's a secret: Do. It. Anyway. Affection, leading or not leading to sex, cannot be overstated.
有多少母亲都会认真的给孩子洗澡，同时给想冲过来亲吻的丈夫一个背影？记得停下来和你的另一半亲热——不能只在脸上轻轻一吻——如果做了，标志着你们的关系健康。当你整天和其他人有约，他们很容易被你忽略。如果每天都只有日常的生活，有时候你把孩子送到床上，自己倒在沙发上，此时此刻任何情感都变成了一种额外的家务。但是，我有个秘籍：无论如何，做它。情感嘛，不论最后有没有做爱，都不是多余的。

7. Never quite losing the baby weight

7. 产后不减肥

It may be controversial, but letting yourself go physically when you get comfortable with someone is a sure-fire way to send you partner looking elsewhere. When they met you, you were 23 with great abs but three kids and twenty years later, well, things don't quite look the same. We get it; life happens. But looking after your own appearance means you feel good about yourself which in turn, means they feel good about you too. The brutal truth is you need to move your ass off the couch and down to the gym. You cared about your ass before, so why not now? Becoming lazy after you've hooked your catch isn't a sexy look for anyone.
这是有争议的，但是，当你大腹便便的与其他人谈笑风生时会让你的丈夫十分窘迫。当他们认识你时，你只有23岁，身材苗条，但是，当你有了3个孩子且过了20年后，嗯，一切都不一样了。是的，生活开始了。但是，注意自己的外表意味着你感觉改变一下更美，意味着他们也这么认为。残酷的事实是，你需要离开睡椅到健身椅上去，你以前担心自己的屁股太大，那么，现在为什么不担心呢？生孩子后越来越懒的女人一点都不性感。

8. Never saying "hanks"

8. 从不说“谢谢”

My husband often feels like he deserves a medal every time he puts a loa d of wash in. (Never mind that I separated the wash, put it in the dryer, and spent hours folding it.) I want to stab him in the eyes when he expects validation for a relatively simple task but I give it to him anyway. Why? Because at least he did it. And when he feels empowered, BONUS: he might just do someth else, like grocery shopping or cleaning the fridge. By thanking him. I'm saying: "I see you, I acknowledg e you." Likewise, he should be thanking you, too. Otherwise there's a tendency to start playing the &lsqu o;who did more' game, which quickly leads to resentment. The more grateful you are, the more likely he'll do more. Trust me.
我丈夫经常在洗了很多衣服后认为自己应该被颁发勋章。（且毫不介意我之后把衣服分类，放进甩干机，然后花数小时叠好它们。)在他做了简单的工作却想得到表扬时我真想瞪他，但我还是感谢了他。为什么?因为至少他做了。并且当他感觉被感谢后，意外之喜：他可能会继续做其他的事,比如,去杂货店买油盐酱醋,或者清理冰箱。感谢他时，我说：“我看到了 ,我认可你。”同祥，他也应该感谢你。否则,你们将会纠结于“谁干的更多”，最终导致矛盾。你感激他越多，他做的越多。相信我。

9. Spending too much time with your side of the family

9. 花太多的时间关心娘家了

Yes, we all know the guilt-trip moms are capable of if you aren't home to celebrate Thanksgiving but just for once, ask your other half what they would like to do for the holidays. By pleasing your parents more than your spouse, you're slowly poisoning your relationship and we hate to break it to you, hubby's probably had enough of your Dad talking about his golf swing and your Mom droning on about her recent knee surgery. Here's an idea: Instead of going to Gram and Gramps, ask them to come stay and spend time with the kids while you two get away, together!
是的，我们都知道如果你没地方过感恩节，父母们以带你们一起过，但是，即使只一次，问下你的另一半，他想怎么过。对自己的父母过于关心，超过自己的另一半，你会慢慢伤害你们的感情，同时我不得不打断你，你的丈夫可能已经与你的老爸聊了太多的高尔夫了，也听了太多你老妈对自己膝关节手术的牢骚了。 给你一个建议：换一种方式，让你的父母与你的孩子们呆在一起，此刻，你们去独享幸福的二人旅行！