男人绝对不能对女人说的八句话

If you're old enough to read these words, there’s a 99.9% chance you’ve said something to piss off a woman. And while we’re sure you probably didn’t mean to elicit that strong of a reaction, you can probably recall a few cringe-worthy memories when some flippant remark made your girl (or a complete stranger) fly off the handle.
如果你是到了一定年纪才来看这篇文章，那很可能是你说了什么不中听的话惹恼了某个女性。不过虽然我们明白你并无心让对方生气，但是你一定也能回忆起几段因为失言而得罪了你的爱人（或者某个陌生女人）的尴尬经历。

To help you know what not to say to any woman from here on out, we asked 10 female comedians about what men say that irritates them the most. Here are their takes on the words that should never leave your lips again—unless you really enjoy the doghouse.
为了帮助大家弄清楚女性对哪些来自男性的话最反感，我们询问了10个女喜剧演员。以下是她们的回答。看完这些，你要是不想住狗窝的话，可千万不要再把这样的话挂在嘴边了。

“Are you wearing that?”
No.1 “你真的要穿这件衣服？”

“If you’re taking me out somewhere, and you see me with clothes on, then yes, I'm wearing that. This is not a hologram outfit under which I'm actually naked and about to get dressed in something you won't passive-aggressively tell me you don't like.”
–Fara Greenbaum, comedian, New York City
“你跟我出门的时候，如果你看见我穿了，那我就是穿了。我并没有裸体穿全息服装，我也不打算换上合你口味的衣服。”
——喜剧演员法拉·格林鲍姆，来自纽约

“You should smile more.”
No.2 “你应该多笑笑。”

“I hate when guys tell me to smile more. Maybe I just got fired today. Maybe I've just been walking around in 5-inch heels all day. Maybe I'm just not impressed with your mesh t-shirt. I don't tell you to do things, like get a haircut. But you definitely need one.”
-Chrissie Mayr, comedian and host of Comedy at Stonewall Inn, New York City
“我很讨厌男人告诉我要多笑笑。我今天不笑，或许是因为我今天被炒了鱿鱼，或许是因为我已经穿5英寸的高跟鞋走了一整天，或许只是因为我对你的网眼T恤无感。我并没有叫你去理发或者做别的什么事，尽管你的确该理发了。”
——喜剧演员、《石墙旅店》主持人克里希·迈尔，来自纽约

“A pet peeve is when strangers—always men—tell me to smile. This happens a lot on the NYC subway, and no one on the subway is happy to be taking the subway. While waiting for the train one day, a guy asked me, ‘Why aren't you smiling?’ and I told him, ‘Because I didn't push you in front of the train yet.’
-Jessica Sager, comedian, New York City
“我很受不了陌生人（一般都是男人）让我多笑一笑。这样的事情常常发生在纽约的地铁上，没有哪个坐地铁的人是喜欢坐地铁的。有一天，我在等地铁，一个家伙问我：‘你怎么不笑呢？’我回答：‘因为我还没把你推到列车前面去。’
——喜剧演员杰西卡·赛琪，来自纽约