你的丈夫真的讨厌你做这些事

It's a gorgeous day today and I should be in a sparking, dazzling mood, but I'm not. My kids are sick and I just want to nap, but I feel like there's a million and a half things to do. I can't get motivated to do them, so instead of doing anything productive, I decided to ask my husband for a topic to write about.
今天天气不错，我应该心情愉悦、开心舒畅，但我并没有。我的孩子生病了，而我只想眯一会儿，但我感觉还有很多的事情需要去做。我没有动力去做这些事，所以我并没有去做些有成效的事，而是决定和老公聊聊天，找一个可以写作的话题。

And lucky for me, he had one just ready. As he lounged on (my!) chair in the office, he ticked off the following list of things that all husbands hate about their wives or partners and asked that I so lovingly share it with all of you. You're welcome.
幸运的是，他刚好有个话题。当他躺在我办公室的椅子上时，他列举了以下这些所有老公都讨厌的关于他们老婆或另一半的事情，我很开心能和大家分享，不客气哦。

1. Every time you call yourself fat
1. 每一次你说自己胖的时候

No, really. It gets really, really old. All we think about is how beautiful you are, all of the time, and even when we tell you and mean it, you still brush us off. And you know what? That doesn't feel good and eventually, I kind of want to stop telling you anymore. Because you don't believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are. But you are, for the record, really beautiful.
这是说真的。这句话真的是老掉牙了。我们一直都觉得你很美，甚至我们很认真的告诉你你很美时，你还是会让我们扫兴。你知道吗？这种感觉并不好受，到最后，我就不太想再说你美了。因为当我告诉你你很美的时候你并不相信我啊。但准确起见，你真的很美。

2. How much pressure you put on yourself
2. 你给自己施加太多的压力

You don't need to go to every single school event and you don't need to do everything for the kids. I don't really know how to tell you this in a way that won't hurt your feelings, but you put so much pressure on yourself that doesn't need to be there. You don't need to go to every single school event and you don't need to do everything for the kids. You just don't.
你根本不需要参加学校举行的所有活动，你也不需要为孩子做每一件事。我不知道怎么跟你说才会让你不难过，但你给自己施加太多不必要的压力了。你根本不需要参加学校举行的所有活动，你也不需要为孩子做每一件事。你就是不需要。

3. How you think you need to be perfect 24/7
3. 你觉得自己应该一整天都处于完美状态

When have I ever really been grossed out by you? Think about it. I don't care if you stop shaving or smell bad or whatever. I really don't. Your period stuff does not bother me, I promise. I don't understand why you think you need to be perfect all of the time. It's OK to just be human, you know?
我有没有嫌弃过你？仔细回想回想。如果你不刮腿毛或闻起来有味儿或邋遢，我都不在乎。我真的不在乎。你的姨妈巾也不会让我感到困扰。我真的不理解为什么你觉得自己需要时时刻刻保持完美。有点人情味是没有问题的，你知道吗？