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情人节送啥好?看看这些“反面教材”先

2018-02-14来源:和谐英语

1. “He paid to get the brakes in my Jeep fixed. Then, when he found out it needed more parts, he gave me the rest of the bill.” ─ Sara S.
“他花钱修了我吉普车的刹车。但是,当他发现还需要置换更多零件时,他把余下的那部分账单给了我。”——莎拉·S

2. “A $100 gift card to a spa filled out and dated two years before we met ” ─ Carey V.
“他给了我一张100美元的美容按摩礼品卡,这张卡在我们认识两年前就已经填写过收货信息了。”——凯丽·V

3. “He bought me and one of my best friends almost identical presents. He had had a crush on her for years.” ─ Heather B.
“他给我和我的一个闺蜜送了几乎完全相同的礼物。他曾经迷恋她多年。”——希瑟·B

4. “The worst gift my ex ever gave me on Valentine’s Day was nothing. Normally, it wouldn’t matter, but a week before Valentine’s Day, my ex told me that every other man she had been with exchanged gifts and we must do the same. I got her a gift and when she didn’t have one for me she said, ‘I forgot.’” ─ Matt S.
“我前任曾送过的最糟糕的情人节礼物就是什么也不送。正常来说,本来是没关系的,但是在情人节前一周,我的前女友告诉我,她和她之前的每个男友都会在情人节交换礼物,我们也必须这么做。于是我给她准备了一个礼物,但是她却没给我准备,然后说‘我忘了’。”——马特·S

5. “A Bible and a lecture about how I had been dressing ‘inappropriately’ by wearing anything relatively form-fitting.” ─ Diana B.
“他送给我一本《圣经》,还给我上了一课,说我一直以来都穿着“不当”,只要衣服合身就随便乱穿。”——戴安娜·B

6. “My ex had promised I would love my gift. ‘It’s something we can do together,’ he said. I knew it had to be a trip. That night he presented me with an envelope over a romantic dinner. I opened it expecting to see two plane tickets fall out. What fell out was a receipt for a one-year paid membership to a gym. There’s only one thing to say when you get a gift like that on Valentine’s Day: Bye.” ─ Amy K.
“我的前任许诺我会喜欢这个情人节礼物。他说,‘这将是我们可以一起做的事情。’我以为这一定是一场旅行。那天晚上他在浪漫晚餐上给了我一个信封。我打开时还以为会看到两张机票。结果掉出来的是健身馆一年会员的收据。在情人节收到这种礼物只有一句话可说:拜拜。”——艾米·K

7. “A weekend getaway with her brother and his wife. She didn’t have a good relationship with her brother and thought that a weekend with all four of us would be good for her. Needless to say, the narcissistic gift of 60 hours imprisoned with the two of them was horrible for me and for her brother’s wife! Misery loves company.” ─ Bill D.
“我收到的情人节礼物是和她的哥哥嫂子周末一起外出度假。她和她哥关系不太好,她以为四个人共度周末对她有好处。无需多言,这份自恋的礼物——和这对兄妹囚禁在一起的60个小时——对我来说糟透了,对她嫂子也是!同病相怜啊。”——比尔·D

8. “He took his single ‘friend’ out for dinner and a movie on Valentine’s Day. Worked out well for them. They’re now engaged.” ─ Deanna G.
“情人节他带他的单身‘朋友’出去吃饭看电影。对他们来说很不错。现在他们订婚了。”——迪安娜·G

9. “One year my ex completely neglected to make any plans or get any cards, flowers or gifts. I assumed the lack of any acknowledgment all day meant there was a big surprise coming later. Walking in our neighborhood gourmet market, bombarded with chocolates, decorations and cards, he grabbed a card, bought it and handed it to me, unsigned. In the checkout line.” ─ Abby K.
“有一年我的前男友完全没有制定任何情人节计划,也没有买卡片、鲜花等礼物。我以为一整天都没有表示,晚些时候会有一个大惊喜。后来我们走进了小区的一个精品超市,超市里到处都是巧克力、装饰物和卡片,于是他拿了一张卡片,付完款,什么也没写就把它递给我。就在收银台那边。”——艾比·K

10. “Valentine’s Day was his birthday, so it was ‘his’ day. Ten years with him, I didn’t get anything.” ─ Gianna K.
“情人节是他的生日,所以这是属于他的日子。和他在一起十年,我从来没收到过情人节礼物。”——吉安娜·K

11. “A portrait of myself and our dog. His heart was in the right place but the painting was awful. I looked like a linebacker with some kind of ’80s new-wave hairdo gone wrong. My ex wanted to hang the picture over the fireplace but there was no way that was happening. I finally let him hang it in our bedroom, where I got to sleep under my own creepy gaze for several years. I used to joke that I would have to burn the house down to get rid of the thing because I would never be able to sneak it into the trash.” ─ Trish S.
“我收到的情人节礼物是一张我和我们家狗的肖像画。他的心意是好的,但是这张画太糟了。我看起来像中后卫橄榄球员,发型像是80年代的新浪潮风格,很蹩脚。我的前男友想把画挂在壁炉上方,但是我坚决不允许。最后我让他挂在我们卧室里,好几年我都是看着自己的惊悚肖像画入睡的。我曾经开玩笑说,我必须把房子烧掉才能摆脱这幅画,因为我没法偷偷将它扔进垃圾桶里。”——翠西·S

12. “Definitely not a bouquet of flowers. Instead, I received a big fat seed of doubt when the mailman delivered a card to my husband sent by another woman.” ─ Lisa F.
“肯定不是一束花。我收到的情人节礼物是一大堆问号,邮递员给我丈夫送来一张另外一个女人寄给他的情人节卡片。”——丽莎·F

13. “A bow and arrow. He wanted me to go hunting with him... for Valentine’s Day. I should’ve known.” ─ Carla E.
“一副弓箭。他希望我能和他一起去打猎……在情人节。我早该知道的。”——卡拉·E

14. “A waffle maker. A waffle maker on its own isn’t a terrible gift except I don’t like waffles. We’d been together for five years and had eaten breakfast together hundreds of times and I’d never ordered waffles — ever. He never made me waffles, which was fine since I don’t actually like them, but the kicker? I found out a couple of weeks later he’d won the waffle maker at a work fundraiser. Needless to say, we are no longer together.” ─ Julie S.
“一台华夫饼干机。华夫饼干机本身不是个糟糕的礼物,只是我不爱吃华夫饼。我们已经在一起五年了,一起吃早餐也有数百次了,我从来不点华夫饼——从不。他从来没给我做过华夫饼,这挺好的,因为我并不爱吃,但是他怎么会想到送这个的呢?几周后我发现,他是在工作筹款会上赢得这台华夫饼干机的。不用说,我们已经不在一起了。”——朱莉·S