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如果女生不漂亮,应该怎么办?这个老外的回答很经典…

2019-02-25来源:和谐英语

话说,英语君之前听过这样一句话:被人夸可爱、清秀、秀气,换句话来说,就是“ 你不够漂亮 ”。

虽然经常也有人会说——

It's what's on the inside that counts.
最重要的是内在美
Beauty isn't everything.
美并不代表一切
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
情人眼里出西施
但其实我相信,被人当面说“ not pretty ”的时候,基本每个女生心里都会不好受。

 

而在国外Reddit网站上就有这么一则帖子,询问大家“ 如何处理自己不漂亮的情况 ”。


这位主角直接讲出了自己藏在内心深处的烦闷。她说——

I am not pretty, and I never will be,I can wear make up, do my hair, wear a lovely dress and heels and I'll never look like a 9/10.
我不是很漂亮,并且永远也不会。我化妆、做头发、穿上可爱的裙子和高跟鞋,但我永远都不是一个非常漂亮的女孩。
"I know it shouldn't bother me but it does - I want to be beautiful, and I get so jealous that these other girls are born pretty.
我也知道这不应该成为困恼我的事情,但它确实有。我想变美,我也很嫉妒一些女孩天生就很漂亮。
在很多情况下,她会把生活中的不如意,归因于自己的“ 不漂亮 ”。

甚至陌生人在她身边窃笑,这个女孩都会让自己觉得是在嘲笑自己丑…


I've always hated myself because of it and I feel like this is wrong because I'm a good person, so why should it matter?
因为丑,我一直都很讨厌自己。我也知道自己人还不错,这样想是错的。但为什么容貌这件事情这么重要呢?
I blame everything on my looks- she doesn't like me because I'm ugly, I wasn't invited because I'm ugly, that person walking past me sniggered because I'm ugly etc etc.
我把这一切都归咎于自己的外表—她不喜欢我是因为我长得丑,我没有被邀请是因为我丑,那个人经过我的时候在窃笑,也是因为我丑等等事情。
一个人的容貌是先天的。

但如果自己因为“外表”不佳,而导致不自信、自我怀疑,影响到了正常生活,那确实心情很抑郁了。

 

所以,这位不自信的妹子向网友求助:

How do you deal with not being attractive to most men? How do you accept how you look and learn to love yourself ?
你们是怎么面对自己对大大多数男生没有吸引力的事实?你是如何接受自己长相的?又是如何学会爱自己的?
而这则帖子一发,很多老外都热心的为她提供建议和帮助。

其中,一位前海军陆战队员@SavageHenry0311所写的评论,获得3800多个赞。

The post attracted tons of comments offering all kinds of insightful advice and experiences. One really stood out, however, and it was written from a man's perspective.
这则帖子下,很多评论都提供了各种各样富有洞察力的建议和经验。其中有一个脱颖而出,但这是从一个男人视觉写的。
这个热心的网友,因为战争时身体落下残疾。在最开始的时候,不得不依靠家人和朋友的帮助,才能活下去。

 

他对这位网友讲述了自己的经历。因为战争留下的伤痛,所以他特别感同身受,理解身体残缺带来的感受。

I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body.
我不是在以男性的身份在向你说教,也没有试图贬低你的感觉,我提供的视角可能有所帮助。相信我 - 我知道不喜欢自己的身体是什么感觉。
I got zapped in Iraq and I've got some unsightly scars, and I sometimes struggle to accept that I'll never be as physically capable as I used to be. F***ing sucks sometimes.
我在伊拉克受过伤,有一些难看的伤疤。我有时很难接受,我的身体将永远不会像过去那样健康。有时真**很糟糕。
他以一种男性的视角告诉这位网友,男生爱上一个女生是一件很奇妙的事情,无关外貌,有的只是刹那间的悸动。


Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman.
总之...当一个男人爱上一个女人的时候,我希望我可以让你进入他的大脑看看。
It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it.
这是一个非常陌生、奇怪的过程,恐怕只有你经历了,才能相信。
然后讲述了一个男生究竟是如何喜欢上这位女孩子的过程。

 

Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral".
有时候,一个男人会遇到一个女孩,开始都没多想。也许她是同事,同学或他哥们的朋友。她被归类为“女性,熟人,感情不好不坏”。
Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things.
然后,他更了解她了。如果他们个性合得来,那么男人想法就会有点微妙了。他会开始注意到她的外表 - 一些令人愉快的事情。
It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.
刚开始这种变化很微小,有一天,他意识到他喜欢看着她鼻子或者耳垂与她脸颊的接壤处。
而这种情况会持续很久。男生喜欢盯着她看、会逐渐留意女孩子细微的表情、动作,而这样会让自己非常开心。

之后,他就会意识到自己爱上她了。

 

先动情的男生,会愿意陪在她身边,会做任何事情去讨女孩的欢心。

在他看来,“情人眼里出西施”这句话真的一点不假。

To him, she is perfect and beautiful.
对于他而言,她就是完美而且美丽的。
A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.
男生看待自己喜欢的女孩并不客观,会自动带着滤镜,或者说带着自我幻想。他看到的和正常人看到的她并不一样。他看到的是美丽、完美、绝妙的她。这是他人生最有力量的一件事情。


拿个相处了数十年的老夫老妻来说,眼神就是最好的证明。

Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse.
去看那些已经结婚好几十年的生活愉快的老夫老妻。深入的观察这个男人的眼睛,当然,他可能会欣赏那些穿着瑜伽裤年轻女人的臀部或者其他,但当他看见自己的老伴时,看他的眼睛。
If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
如果你仔细看,你就会发现当他注视着自己的老伴时,滤镜就自动打开了。那一刻,他看到的和我们看到的不一样,不是一个穿着邋遢的空巢老人,而是他人生中美好的东西。
No shit. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true.
没有胡说。如果我没有经历过这些东西,我也不会相信。但这就是事实。

这个回答立马就引起了不少网友的共鸣,纷纷表示,这就是自己的亲身感受。


这完美的描述了我对妻子的感觉。对我而言,她就是最完美的那个。


我现在就躺在我的那个“她”旁边。看到了这个帖子,一下子就让我想起了我们的这些年了。都快感动哭了……


我的妻想要在整形,修复那些她讨厌的东西。但是,这是这些东西才让我爱上了她,我也很害怕失去这些东西。

而最近,这位回帖人在接受Boredpanda的采访时,即便这么多年过去了,自己仍然是这么想的。

“It's from the heart. It was written in one sitting at a coffee shop before work,” he told Bored Panda. “It sort of poured out of me, and it's as honest as I know how to be. I still believe it, years after writing it.”
他告诉熊猫无聊艺术博客网站,说:“自己是发自内心的,这个帖子是他在上班前一个人坐在咖啡店里写的。我一下子写出来了,非常真诚。写完它已经好几年了,但我仍然是这么想的”。