用离婚计算器算算离婚的成本

近日一个网络在线服务工具——“我的离婚计算器”相当流行，不少网友把它当成了一个娱乐项目，加加减减，算出一个天文数字，然后感慨一句：“妈呀，这么贵！” 实际上网上的离婚计算器起源于英国，初衷是帮助那些婚姻生活面临破碎、有离婚计划的夫妻估算成本、清查债务。对于离婚率相当高的今天，这样一个离婚计算器也有一定的警醒作用吧。

As many as 5,000 couples a day get divorced in China. But these days, an online divorce calculator is making them think twice about cashing in on their vows. Couples are flocking to sites such as My Divorce Calculator or Chinese versions such as Bailixia Forest Divorce Calculator, to see how much money is at stake.

Si Pengfei is an attorney at Beijing Longping Law Firm. In his experience, China's skyrocketing divorce trend with twenty to thirty year olds is attributed to a few varying factors.

"There are several complications that lead to divorce all over China, mainly infidelity, bad communication, living in different cities and stressful life. Specifically, people in their 30s divorce for financial problems, infidelity and being apart for long periods of time. Also, this age group is impulsive when it comes to divorce."

They may be overworked and give up on marriage easily, but there are other factors as well. Dr. Rik Ruiter from Canada has been a marriage counselor for over 25 years with seven years in China. He believes that this generation of only children tends to have dependency issues.

"So, these kids are raised by grandparents, very lonely, and they're not being taught any skills, everything is done for them. So, by the time they get to marrying age, and there's a lot of pressure from their parents, and the government and everyone else, to get married but they do so without any life skills."

Pressure to marry is one problem, but Ruiter says communication after the honey moon period is over tends to be the biggest issue. Since many couples don't have time in their quotidian lives for conflict resolution, when things don't work, it seems easier to just leave.

When they start looking to the web for information, they find Chinese sites like Wulumqi Online. Huo Yanwen is the editor of the site and explains why they provide information, forums, the divorce calculator and more.

"A Chinese old saying goes:"It's hard to meet the right people in life. So, cherish the ones you have." However, nowadays many people become impatient with their spouse, intolerant to their marriage merely because of spats, I hope this site can remind them to calm down and think about their marriage, at least in financial aspect."

Forest Divorce Calculator site was started by Dang Yongzhong because the English divorce calculator site was too difficult for many couples to understand. They designed more Chinese-friendly version with the aim of reminding people that divorce is not only a loss of love, but also the loss of money.

It's not the divorce itself that is expensive, but the division of property. The divorce calculator tallies a couple's information including housing and property, cars, etc. However, Si Pengfei warns that the figures are only estimates.

"In Beijing, if a couple has a house which is about 1.5 million yuan, the fee for putting it on record at court is about 3000 yuan, the lawyer fee is about 10,000 yuan, property appraisal fees about 15 thousand at most. So, that's probably at least 20 thousand yuan in total. Most couples have about 1.5 million to 3 million in property; the fee for hiring a lawyer is about 10 to 20 thousand yuan. Add all that up; you're looking at about 20 thousand yuan in divorce fees."

Still, Ruiter says a calculator like this that scares couples into staying together because they fear messy settlements isn't really a good thing either. Marriage requires more than the will to stay married.

"It's a good thing that couples stay together because then they have to work on their relationship. If they get a divorce, which people do-and I think it's always the last step, but they just go into a repetitive pattern. Unless they do some work on their own, in terms of their own growth and development, they just repeat the whole process. So I think it's better to stay together and work on yourself and grow and develop， and make the relationship work."

Maybe money can't buy love or happiness, but maybe fear of losing it is what some couples actually need to give their marriage another go.

For CRI, I'm Andrea Hunt.