手机才是我们最大的情敌？

When Amanda Gao, a 26-year-old white-collar worker in Beijing, went to a hotpot restaurant with her boyfriend on a Friday night several weeks ago, she expected that they would have a good time together, but to her disappointment, it did not turn out that way.

在北京工作的26岁白领阿曼达·高（Amanda Gao）几周前的一个周五晚上与男朋友一起去一家火锅店吃饭，原以为会和男朋友好好享受这段美好时间，但事实却不如人意。

As soon as she and her boyfriend were led to their seats and she began to order dishes, he buried himself in his mobile phone.

因为当她和男朋友一起被领到座位上后，她开始点菜，男朋友却一头扎进手机里。

"He did not look up from his phone even after I finished ordering dishes, which made me unhappy and a little angry," she said. "It seemed that his phone was making its way between us. A date that should have belonged to us turned into one where my boyfriend dated a third party and I felt left out."

“直到我点餐结束，他的眼睛都没有离开过手机，这让我很不开心，甚至有点生气了，”高说。“这就好像他的手机挡在了我俩中间。原本属于我们的约会现在变成他和手机的‘约会’了，我反倒成了个局外人。”

Some people, like Gao, have found that electronics have been sabotaging their romantic relationships.

一些像高女士这样的人发现电子设备正在破坏他们之间的浪漫关系。

A study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture in April 2016, asked nearly 200 college-aged adults who were in committed relationships to report on their and their partner’s smartphone dependency. The results showed people who were more dependent on their phones were less sure about their relationships, and people who considered their partners excessively dependent on their devices were less satisfied in their relationship.

2016年4月，刊登在大众传媒文化心理学期刊上的一篇研究调查了近200名处于恋爱关系中的大学生，来了解他们及其情侣对手机的依赖性。结果显示那些对手机表现出较强依赖性的情侣对他们的恋爱关系却持有犹疑不定的态度，那些认为另一半过度依赖电子设备的情侣更是对他们的恋爱关系抱有不满情绪。

Lin Yuan, a relationship advisor in Beijing, noted that as more and more electronics come out and spice up people’s lives, they are at the same time becoming a third party in relationships, especially for young people.

北京的关系顾问林媛说，随着越来越多的电子设备被发明出来，为人们的生活增添乐趣的同时，也疏远了人们之间的关系，尤其是对于年轻人而言。

"When many young couples get off work and come home, they often busy themselves with electronic gadgets such as TVs, computers, iPads and cellphones, and do not have much time for real-life interactions with their partners," she said.

“许多年轻情侣下班回到家中，通常会忙于看电视，玩电脑、平板和手机等，却不会留太多时间去和情侣进行现实生活中的互动了，”她说。

She said she knew of some people who suggest that electronics should be kept out of bedrooms, which she considered challenging and hard to be put into practice for most couples.

她认识有些建议将电子设备放在卧室外面的人，但她认为这对于大多数情侣来说很有挑战性并且难以付诸实践。

She recommended that if people are feeling neglected in their relationship, they need to respectfully let their partners know their feelings. "Communication is always the best and the most efficient way." she said.

她建议如果人们在他们的关系中感到被忽视，他们需要以一种尊重的方式让伴侣知道他们的感受。“而沟通永远是最好、最有效的方式。”

She added that there are also some methods that people can employ to improve the quality of their time together. For example, if they find that their partners spend a lot of time on electronics instead of with them, they may propose to try "electronics-free time" with their partners on weekends or at breakfast and dinner.

她还补充说，人们可以采用一些方法来提高他们相处时间的质量。比如，如果他们发现伴侣花费大量时间在电子设备而非他们本人身上时，他们也许可以尝试将周末、早餐和晚餐时间设定为“无电子设备时间”。

"During electronics-free time, the couple is not allowed to spend time on electronics and should focus on the other person," she said.

“在远离电子设备的这段时间，双方不允许花费时间在电子设备上，而应该关注另一方伴侣。”

Moreover, she advised that people can choose to let electronics take up their time when they are alone and pay more attention to their partners during time together.

此外，她建议人们可以选择让电子产品在独处时占用个人时间，并在双方共同相处的时间里更多关注彼此。

Gao noticed that her boyfriend would read news on his mobile phone every morning when they are having breakfast and also often before dinner and bed as well.

高女士注意到，她的男朋友每天早上在吃早餐时都会通过手机阅读新闻，也经常在吃饭和睡觉前阅读。

"Those periods of time would have been perfect for us to talk about our day," she said.

“那本应是谈论我们这一天的最佳时机”她说。

She conceded that she is a little jealous of her boyfriend’s mobile phone. "He does not have to spend a lot of time on his phone, but he seems to have a psychological need for that device," she said. "I have gotten angry with him many times on this matter, but it was not very effective. Maybe it is time for me to give electronics-free time a try."

她承认说她有点嫉妒她男朋友的手机。“他不必花很多时间在手机上，但现在他似乎对这种设备有心理需求，”她说。“在这件事情上，我多次对他生气，但仍没有达到很好的制止效果。也许现在是时候让我试试零电子产品时间了。”