疯狂英语珍藏版下载 12 A Christmas Humor 圣诞幽默一则

12 A Christmas Humor

(It is Christmas time. A band of ragged 1)vagrants gathers in the hall of a police station, singing.)

Robert (Policeman): What is all this noise about?

Pat (Policewoman): It’s a band of 2)New Age travelers on 3)arraignment. They’ve been causing an 4)obstruction.

Robert: Well, I’m not putting up with this all night. You’re all officially warned. Now, Happy Christmas and get out!

Man: All power and passion, mate. You’re Babylon, but I will speak to you. Your all 5)impounded our van, man.

Woman: My belly is swollen with the fruit of love-seed. And we are homeless.

Man: We are a circle, there is no end, there is no beginning. Everything is now, and we are here, and we’re staying.

Robert: Well, what in twelve types of 6)instant cake mix are we suppose to do with these people? And this is all we need on Christmas Eve, isn’t it? A couple arrived from far away, with nowhere to stay for the night, the woman heavily pregnant. I mean did you ever hear of such a thing?

Woman: Aaa...

May (Policewoman): What? You’re not going to...

Woman: Aaa...

Pat: All right, Heavy. Let’s get them into the interview room and get the 7)Dettol and 8)sterilize the table.

May: Hang on, Pat. This person is a woman, an individual. She has to decide if she wants to have her baby. (To woman) It’s all right, love. It’s your body and you are in control. You tell us what you want.

Woman: I want to have it by candlelight.

May: Well, I think we can manage that. (To Pat)You see, Pat, it doesn’t hurt to give people choices in their life.

Woman: And a bath full of warm ewe’s milk.

Man: Like 9)Stonehedge.

May: Let’s get her on the table.

Pat: Gordy?

Gordy (Policeman): Yes?

Pat: Hot water. Now.

Woman: Aaa...

Gordy: Yes.

Pat: Gordy, did you get the hot water?

Gordy: Well, I was going to. But then I thought we really ought to opt for something more interesting, so I got her this carton of 10)Ribena from my cupboard.

12 圣诞幽默一则

(圣诞将至。警察局的大厅里，一群被抓的流浪者正在唱歌。)

罗伯特（男警）：什么人在大吵大闹？

帕特（女警）：一群受到指控的新纪元浪人，因为妨碍交通被抓来的。

罗伯特：我可不容许你们整晚在这儿吵闹。现在我正式向你们发出警告！圣诞快乐，然后滚蛋！

男浪人：我们充满了力量与热情。就算你是巴比伦，我也要告诉你。你的人锁了我们的货车。

女浪人：我腹内正孕育着爱情的结晶，而且我们无家可归。

男浪人：我们是个圆圈，没有起点，也没有终点。现在就是一切，我们来了就不走了。

罗伯特：怎样才能弄走这两个人呢？就象用十二种速成蛋糕粉做蛋糕那样，又快又省事？这是在圣诞前夕我们最不想看到的，对不对？一对男女，远道而来，无处可去，女的又身怀六甲，眼看就要临盆。我说，你听过这样的怪事吗？

女浪人：啊……

梅（女警）：干什么？你该不是要……

女浪人：啊……

帕特：好，好，扶她进问话室，拿消毒水消毒桌子！

梅：慢着，帕特。她是个独立的人，她可以决定是否愿把孩子生下来。（对女浪人）不要紧，宝贝，是你的身体，你说了算，把你的心意说出来吧。

女浪人：我想在烛光里生孩子。

梅：嗯，这个我们办得到。（对帕特）你看，给人多点方便无伤大雅。

女浪人：而且泡在一缸暖和的羊奶里。

男浪人：就像在巨石阵。

梅：把她抬上桌子吧。

帕特：高迪？

高迪（男警）：什么事？

帕特：准备热水。

女浪人：啊……

高迪：知道。

帕特：高迪，热水弄来没有？

高迪：我本想去拿的。但是我心想喝水没意思，便从我的柜子里取了这瓶果汁。

1、vagrant n.流浪者

2、New Age traveler 新纪元浪人。指那些对物质生活要求不高，而更愿意与大自然和谐地生活在一起的人们。

3、arraignment 传问，审问

4、obstruction n. 妨碍交通

5、impound v. 扣留，收押

6、instant cake mix 一种家庭用，无需人工调剂各成份比例的快速蛋糕粉

7、Dettol 一种消毒剂品牌

8、sterilize v. 杀菌，消毒

9、Stonehedge 巨石阵。英国南部索尔兹伯里附近的一处史前巨石建筑遗址。

10、Ribena一种果汁饮料品牌