To Pull or Not to Pull Punches

And now, Words and Their Stories, from VOA Learning English.

Sometimes in life we have to break bad or difficult news to friends, family members, work partners and sometimes even strangers.

Some people may do this indirectly. They may want to soften the immediate effect the news will have on the person. We might tell only part of the truth. When we do this, we are "pulling our punches"

But there are other times when we do the opposite.

We speak directly, presenting the hard facts and little else. We might do this in emergencies, when facing danger, or other times when the complete truth is required. In these cases, we are "not pulling any punches."

When someone does not pull any punches, they say things that might be hurtful or frightening. They know the information may be troubling. But, the information is usually thought to be more important than the unease it may cause.

If you don't pull punches, you speak your mind. You tell it like it is. You don't mince words or sugar-coat the truth. Mincing words means to soften or weaken your words especially for the sake of being polite. Some people mince words when they are afraid to tell someone the truth. And if you sugarcoat something, you make it sound more pleasant or acceptable than it really is.

People who don't pull punches can also be called straight-talking, blunt, or frank. In fact, sometimes we use "blunt" and "frank" when we break bad or difficult news to someone. We might say, "Look, I need to be frank with you," or "I hate to be blunt but ..." and then you're blunt. You don't pull your punches.

When talking with this kind of person, we always know where we stand. We never have to guess. This can be a good thing.

However, when we are on the receiving end of a person who doesn't pull any punches, we also need a thick skin. Much of what we may hear might hurt a little ... or a lot. Just as a thick skin protects some animals from attacks, it also protects people from hard, cold truths that are hard to hear. But with a "thick skin," we can better absorb the "punch" of tough news.

When you don't pull any punches, you also act without restraint or limitations. You don't hold back. You are all in.

The phrase "to not pull any punches" comes from boxing. If you pull a punch in the boxing ring, it means you restrain your power. You purposely hit your opponent with less force than is possible.

Word experts say that in the 1930s people began to use this phrase more widely. These days you can pull your punches or not pull any punches is just about any situation.

Now let's hear two friends use this phrase and related terms in a short conversation.

A: Okay, here is my movie script.

B: Oh wow! You finished it! Congrats!

A: Now I really need some outside opinions. I'm way too close to the material.

B: That is a great idea. But I don't think I'm the person to ask.

A: Why? You have really good taste in films, and I know you'll tell me like it is.

B: That's the problem. I am brutally honest. It's impossible for me to pull any punches.

A: That's exactly what I need – honesty! Tell me what you really think. Don't hold anything back.

B: You say that now. But when you hear my criticisms, you may feel differently.

A: No way. I have a really thick skin. It's impossible for a little criticism to hurt my feelings.

B: Okay, I'll read it and give you my notes. But the last person who asked me to read her manuscript still isn't talking to me.

A: Oh. Wow. You really don't pull any punches, do you?

B: You've been warned.

Do you have a similar expression in your language? Let us know in the comments section or send us an email at LearningEnglish@VOAnews.com.

And that's all the time we have for this Words and Their Stories.

Until next time, I'm Anna Matteo.

Anna Matteo wrote this lesson for VOA Learning English.

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mince words to soften or weaken your words especially for the sake of being polite

brutally – adv. in a manner so as to cause loss or suffering

blunt – adj. being or characterized by direct, brief, and potentially rude speech or manner

frank – adj. free in expressing one's true feelings and opinions

opponent – n. one that takes a position opposite another in a competition or conflict

manuscript – n. a document submitted for publication